Big topic, I know.

It’s the best job I ever had. It’s also the job that never really ends, but it certainly does evolve, and if you don’t evolve with it, you are in for trouble.

My children are now all grown (as of this writing, they are 33, 31, 29 and 25 years old). Two are financially independent and all are on a good path and certainly living their own lives. I am quite sure – now that the fun of helping them grow up is past – that I have made many mistakes. My kids are quick to point out many of those mistakes now that they are adults. I have spoiled one of them, been too easy on one of them, too hard on one of them (or all of them?). It is my fault (am leaving my wife out of it due to her clear perfection in this subject matter) that one of them is not married, or not well respected by the others, or one of so many other things that deemed to be significant in the lives of my children.

I used to stress over some of these concerns and much of this feedback, as I am sure there is truth to much of it. I probably should have been tougher at times and easier at other times. I am now 100% sure of one thing – I can’t go back and fix it any longer. If one of my kids should have had more discipline when younger, I cannot apply that discipline now – certainly not to a 25, 29, 31 or 33 year old. They are adults now.

I can coach and support and provide feedback (when requested). It requires a light touch, for the most part. My priority is to “be there” for each of them whenever they need me.

I loved helping my kids grow up. As of this writing, they all turned out pretty darn well too. One has a great job in Marketing, lives in the mountains in Colorado and has great friends. She loves what she does for a living. Another has a great job in banking, lives in London, has great friends and also loves what she does for a living. They are both financially independent at this point. The third is at medical school, lives in Vermont, has a lovely girlfriend and is on a path to become a doctor, his lifelong dream. He loves what he does. The fourth one has started his own business, lives in Maine in the summer and elsewhere in the winter, depending on what he feels like in a given year. He loves what he does.

They get along well as a team – they just came back from skiing together. They fight and hate each other some days, but love each other every day. We get together as a family a couple of times a year and I am grateful for that.

They are all good people. They care about others, they are aware of current events and have opinions. They are sensitive to issues like race, inequality, politics and they all have pets that they love. You know what? My kids have turned out great. not just good, but great.

I have made many many mistakes, but overall, I am giving myself a decent grade for helping these four people become excellent citizens of the world. Sorry for all the things I did wrong….but I write that with a wry smile and a great deal of comfort that I must have done more things right 🙂

Love you guys.

I used to worry that I am not the most creative fellow around. I see others coming up with brilliant new ideas and wonder why I lack that gene. With age comes wisdom…or if not wisdom then at least some experience and some insight that one didn’t have earlier in life.

I used to think that Innovation meant brilliant new ideas, ideas that nobody had ever thought of before. The stories are well known of course – Steve Jobs and his legacy of Apple products, musicians like Paul Simon, or Mozart, artists like Cezanne or Michelangelo.

I have come to believe sometime innovation is as described above – blinding new insights and ideas. Sometimes, however, innovation comes from the application of good ideas to new environments. It doesn’t have to be a brand new genius idea – it can be the recognition that one business idea in a particular industry would be genius if applied to another industry in a completely different way. Take a musical example (since I am reading a book about Paul Simon). Simon took some music from Bach, combined with some jazz from Alabama and created something new, just by experimenting and applying it differently. This is innovative!

So – every once in a while – I give myself credit for applying some cool ideas that came from the mind of an earlier genius, and applying it to new circumstances. That’s innovation too!

I have four kids and they all love to read. We compare notes on books we like at this point, but I haven’t read to any of them since they were little. I miss that. Reading to and with my kids was probably my favorite part of the day, and frankly I loved the kids books that we read together. Everything from Little Caterpillar and books about trucks (some stereotypes seems true) to reading some of the Harry Potter books…even when we both knew quite well that he/she could read them herself.

Guess I’ll have to wait for grandkids!

Last week I went on a road trip. For the first time I drove across country in the US (most of the way). I know that lots of people do it, but I’ve never been big on driving and driving and driving, as I usually prefer to just get somewhere and get on with it.

My son was moving from Maine to Colorado to live with his sister for the winter season. He got a job on the mountain where she lives, and figured he’d need his car and his dog while he was there. My wife suggested “why don’t you go with him part way? You could drive with him to Chicago, see friends and then fly back home?” At this point we were in our home in Connecticut. I tried to avoid thinking about it, but eventually offered to my son – “would you like me to go with you?” “Sure” he said.

Then, a few days later, he said “let’s go to the Badlands on the way!” I didn’t even know what state the Badlands are in – it is a good Springsteen song, but that’s all I knew about it. A quick google search told me it’s in South Dakota….not really on the way to Colorado, but sorta. Okay now i can’t resist, so I sign up for the whole trip. First we had to drive to our house in Maine (he left most of his stuff there at the end of the summer), thats a 7-hour drive to start with. We pack the car and plan the journey (sort of).

Our first day was a 12 hour drive south from Maine, through New Hampshire, across all of Massachusetts (who said MA was a small state) then up through New York to Niagara Falls. It’s on the way west and Will had never seen it so what the heck. I booking.com’d a hotel room there. We crashed and got up early, had breakfast (we were the only people in the entire hotel – who goes to Niagara Falls in November??) and went to see the Falls. It’s a great example of what happens when people surround a majestic natural wonder with tourist shit. What a crappy town….but it was worth a look…once.

We then got in the car and started driving west. We stopped in Cleveland for lunch and booking’d a hotel room in Toledo – it was on the way. Cleveland looks like a nice small city. Toledo looks like a bunch of strip malls.

In the morning we continue west – identifying a spot to take the poor dog for a hike along the way. the poor thing was sitting in that cramped car all day – what a great dog is Surrey. So we found the Indiana Dunes State and National Parks. It was a cold November day but its a cool park. We did the “3 Dune Challenge” and then headed to Chicago.

We hung out with our respective friends – his from high school a few years ago and mine from college 40 years ago. The next morning we hit the road again and drove north, through Wisconson and west through Minnesota to get to South Dakota. This was the first time I’d ever been in SD and it is beautiful. Badlands National Park is wonderful. We hit a few other spots before heading south to Wyoming and then on to Winter Park, Colorado.

All told we did about 2,500 miles and 13 states….and it was a lot of fun, even though it was tiring. I heartily recommend seeing the west by car.

I am a big soccer (real football) fan, as all my friends know, but for some reason I enjoy baseball. Maybe it’s the tactics, the skill involved, and of course the tension of the playoffs. I would love to watch the World Series.

However, on the east coast the games don’t start until 8pm, and the damn things go until midnight, at the earliest. This pisses me off and so I don’t ever turn them on, not even for an hour, because it would just piss me off even further to turn it off at 10pm (or even 11pm, if I was ambitious) and miss the end of the game.

I hate it. I wonder how many other potential viewers they lose – certainly most (east coast) children, who could be getting excited about baseball.

I like working. There are things about working that appeal to me more than other aspects of working but overall I like the satisfaction and feeling of self-worth that working provides me. Is it about getting paid well for the work? Sort of, but not really. Getting paid well is important at points in one’s career, as we can’t live the life we want to live without the resources to fund that lifestyle. Many people don’t enjoy the peace of mind that comes with financial security, and therefore, the money is a very high priority.

I am not embarrassed that I have financial security but I do think it’s important to remember that I am part of a very lucky minority.

At this point in my career – and given the financial security that I enjoy – what I do next involves different variables than just “how much will I get paid.” In fact the most important thing is the people I work with. I want to work with people that I respect, enjoy, learn from and can contribute to. I love being part of a team. I love leading teams and being part of a team built on trust. I have made some bad decisions and ended up at firms where the teamwork was not ‘encouraging’ and I didn’t last.

My last company (a small software company called Aternity) was a great experience – my colleagues and the CEO who recruited me were all capable, energetic, committed, and great team mates. Sadly the company was taken over or I’d still be there.

At this point in my career – and I do still like working – my priority is to work with the right people.

But that’s just me.

As a leader, I am often asking managers who report to me to assess their people. Quite often, the first words are something like “he’s a good guy.” I am ignoring the fact that many of them are women of course, just for the sake of illustration.

What does “he’s a good guy” mean, anyway? nothing.

When someone says that “he’s a good guy” it tells me very little. Maybe it means that he’s a nice person? Maybe it means that he is loyal and that this manager likes working with him? Mostly it tells me that the manager is unwilling or unable to tell me more clearly how to evaluate this employee’s performance. It usually leads to me asking why this “good guy” is not making his numbers, or not making an impact in some measurable way. It then descends into “he’s a good guy, but…”

When someone asks me to assess someone on my team, I try very hard NOT to say “he’s a good guy.” I try to answer with some clear points of description, such as “he has an excellent track record of knowing his numbers,” or “he’s the most responsive person on the team,” or “he’s a strong sales leader, but doesn’t have enough experience at people management yet, but is highly coachable so is worth the investment of time.”

Comments like the last one tell the listener something more useful about this employee than “he’s a good guy.”

So how come when people say “he’s a good guy,” the answer is often “yeah, i’ve heard that about him?” So meaningless – neither party to the conversation has learned anything from that exchange!

Okay I guess that was not much more than a pet peeve, but you get what I mean? I’m a good guy, after all.