Does it exist any more? In this day and age it almost seems like it has gone out of fashion. The President of the United States demonstrates none, and surrounds himself with similars. His role model behavior has inspired others around the world…or others have inspired him. Who cares.
It’s definitely not gone. It is still there and there are many many role models who demonstrate humility in what they do. For a great example, watch Conan O’Brien’s 2026 commencement speech to Harvard University (of all places). https://youtu.be/F3fCktnkBbc?si=mno8cETpasqe2giV
Using self deprecating humor he explains that a piece of paper with a Harvard degree tells us little about him, or any of the graduates then and now. It’s worth the 24 minutes to watch it. Even better (i swear it) is Roger Federer’s 2024 commencement speech at Dartmouth College https://youtu.be/pqWUuYTcG-o?si=BpS7c0hEBqhLrK9M. He explains that almost half the time he fails – he loses his tennis point. He may be the greatest of all time, but to lose almost 50% of his competitive points and still arise is part of a lovely story he shares.
Other luminaries who demonstrate humility – as much as I am loathe to admit it (as a Manchester United fan) Pep Guardiola, manager of Manchester City seems an excellent example. Our new manager Michael Carrick seems so as well. Meryl Streep is another. How about Barack Obama? 2-time President of the USA yet still is able to demonstrate humility to the world, making him a far better role model for young people than Donald Trump, who can only inspire patricide, arrogance, and ignorance.
My dad demonstrated humility and inspired me to understand it well. His charitable works were outstanding, his ability to love and to make fun of himself were standout characteristics. Dad used to say that he couldn’t trust someone who couldn’t laugh at himself and I remember and live by that. When I led people in my corporate life, I tried very hard to show that I live by that model. I hope I succeeded at least more than I failed. To me, leadership is about basking in the success and glory of those who follow you, inspiring and coaching them to succeed and then ensuring they get the credit for it.
We need more people like that in leadership roles in our country and in our companies. Help me find them!
I picked up this book recently and admit I’ve only just started it, but it already speaks to me. I find myself meandering through all the dogs who have shaped my life. I love my kids a lot but the dogs I’ve loved a lot too, and when it comes to unconditional love there’s nothing like a dog. Yes i have had wonderful cats too, and even a few chickens, but this is about the love of a dog.
When I was a boy, Gertie was my dog. She was a little brown rescue dog and she went everywhere with me. I have memories of riding my bike in the neighborhood with Gertie sprinting alongside.
Then there was the Moose. Her real name was Bridget and we adopted her when we went to a benefit fair and people were invited to put a bid in a box for the cute little puppy there. Dad put a $5 bid in just to keep us quiet and figured he’d never hear again. It turned out his was the only bid, we got the puppy and she grew a hell of a lot bigger than anyone thought…she was indeed a Moose.
Dad also adopted Winston. Winnie was an obvious name for mixed bulldog of sorts. He was a sweet guy, and a very credible swimmer. I can’t picture our house in Harvard, Mass without seeing Winnie. When he died, Dad cried and buried him on their property in Stonington Maine.
These were a long time ago and I certainly don’t have digital photos of them.
We fast forward, skipping the dogs of my college years, Vic and Dammit (never was there a better name for a dog than Dammit. “come here, Dammit!”).
Betty was a lovely golden retriever – also a rescue dog – that joined us shortly after we were married and moved from New York City to Weston, CT. My wife was initially nervous about being out in “the country” and Betty was there to provide protection (?) or at least company. One night while I was away on a business trip she called me in panic – a family had been attacked in a neighboring town and Dale was upset to be home alone. I reminded her that she had Betty for protection now. “But they killed the dog too!” oh well. Below is Betty with Katie, who is now 37 years old. Doesn’t she look like some serious protection?
Shortly after being married and having kids, we were in Florida visiting my wife’s parents. We took the kids to a playground and there was this very scruffy pup, covered in fleas, on his own and clearly abandoned. After looking around fruitlessly for an owner, we took him home. We had no idea how to get rid of the fleas so took him swimming with us and the fleas all jumped to the pup’s head , to be above water- it was pretty gross, but we got rid of them. He flew home in a box at our feet in the plane and became my daughter’s best friend. A few years later I accepted an overseas assignment from IBM and we all moved to Sydney Australia. What to do about Scruffy? – he wasn’t allowed to come with us! Fortunately Dad had room at his home in Maine and in his heart and agreed to take in Scruff while we were overseas. We lived in Australia for 3 years, which turned out to be long enough for Dad and Scruffy to become the best of inseparable friends. Dad fretted about what would happen when we returned home to USA as he would be awfully sad to let Scruffy go. He knew that Scruffy was Katie’s dog and didn’t want to disappoint his granddaughter, so…what to do, what to do.? We had a good honest conversation with Katie about letting Scruffy stay with Grampy and she was awfully mature about it. Scruffy was Grampy’s best friend and she could see the importance of that. Scruffy became Dad’s dog. This is Scruffy – the naming was pretty obvious. He went everywhere with Dad.
Of course that meant we needed to visit the pet adoption agency in Connecticut once we moved back home. This is when Addie joined our family. Adelaide was a cross between a ridgeback and a pit bull. She was just a puppy but the agency, PAWS, said that family had returned her because they said she was too aggressive. We played with her at PAWS and could see that he was just playful – some people just don’t understand dogs, confusing play with aggression. Addie was Katie’s new best friend. She was a wonderful dog. She grew big as her breed predicted and people would be scared when they met her or heard her huge bark, but of course she was the sweetest girl you could imagine…just very big and strong. Addie only made it about 8 or 9 years though – she suffered from something that made her stomach flip – it happens to horses and sometimes to large dogs – and was awfully painful. When I took Addie to be put to sleep it was one of the saddest and worst days ever. I still flash back to it every so often. It was the first time I can remember going through it. The vet asked me if I’d like to come back into the surgery to say goodbye to her and I did. She lifted her head when she saw me and I cried and then left when they completed the deed. I learned a lesson that day – never would I be anywhere but at my dog’s side when the time came to say goodbye. They deserve it, after all the love they gave us. Poor Addie. The memory is seering. Here she is…
We have had many other dogs since – Jasper, Billie, Court, Rooney, Surrey, Gimli, and Gracie. I will cover a few of my favorites.
Jasper was a little guy we adopted while living in England (see below). He was a good buddy. He went running with me most days, made tons of friends and lived to a ripe old age of 17. This was the first time we had someone come to the house to assist with putting a pet to sleep. It was the best way…we were there, he knew it and we had a chance say goodbye and have a good cry. Jasper was a sweet little guy.
I’m going to skip to Surrey and Rooney, our adopted rescue labs. Dale used to spend time on websites like “adopt-a-lab” which identified labs from down south (why so many down there?) who needed homes and could be transported north. Apparently black dogs are the least popular to be adopted..because they don’t photography well. It doesn’t seem quite fair. Dale chose this beautiful black pup.
We named her Surrey, after the place we had lived in England. There was something special about this dog. She was sweet, quiet, and loved people above all else. She was a star with a tennis ball and would play catch all day if you had the patience. Her very favorite thing was to chase snowballs in the winter; they were like cold, wet white tennis balls. She was Will’s dog (my son) and grew up with him. When Will started his kayaking business in Maine, Surrey became the face of the company. She trotted up the hill to greet every customer and they all became besotted with Surrey
Surrey was so sweet that Dale decided to adopt another lab. She went back on Adopt-a-lab and chose a yellow lab pup this time. She was not as young as Surrey – she was about 6 months old. You know what happens when you first one behaves so well that you have a second one? Ya, the next one is the child from hell.
Rooney must have had some kind of terrible history. We will never know what it was, but it must have been bad. Dale arranged her adoption to be a surprise, and it sure was. We met the van that had transported a variety of dogs from somewhere down south (again) She was dirty, smelled awful, was skinny and as unattractive as a yellow lab could be at 6 months old. She peed in the car on the way home. This photo was taken well after we got her cleaned up.
This dog had clearly never had someone to love her and she had never learned to love a human before. For months she misbehaved, acted out, was difficult to walk on a leash, etc. It was the closest I have ever come to saying that we can’t manage this and we might have to give this dog back somehow.
It seemed to take forever, but of course she finally responded and began to trust us. The vet called her a “kook,” and that was quite right. She had a goofy personality, but she became a lot of fun. She swam in our swimming pool after every walk – it was her pool. If the 5-foot gate was closed, she astounded us by leaping over it. This dog was quite athletic. She ignored tennis balls, but would play with a soccer ball. I am pretty sure we came up with her name (Rooney is named after Wayne Rooney) first but she took to it. She was bullheaded and had ball skills like her namesake. Of course we went through a lot of soccer balls that somehow ended up deflated after she played with them. Rooney adopted goofy positions to sleep, but she hung out with us….and she loved Surrey. They became true sisters. Surrey was the good twin and Rooney was the one who acted out. Rooney became my best girl, and I loved her. She could still be very stubborn, and often would only obey me. I secretly loved that. Here we are together. She was beautiful.
Rooney was an incredible swimmer. In Maine she would chase a stick as far out as you could throw it. She would follow you in a kayak for a long way and you eventually had to turn around to bring her back for fear that she would never give up. When Will started his kayak company, Rooney was not permitted to come and join Surrey to greet customers. You never knew if she’d jump on someone or follow them all the way out of the cove.
Surrey and Rooney were a real pair. They loved each other, they slept together, and they were as different as night and day when it came to personality. Tennis ball versus soccer ball. Surrey was a terrible swimmer (she swallowed sea water and that became gross diarrhea). Surrey was sweet and always aimed to please everyone. She cared little about other dogs…except Roo. Rooney loved everyone too, but was bullheaded and stubborn right to the end. She loved to sit in the mud, mess up Mom’s garden and was always (always) dirty. One of Will’s friends just called her “dirty girl,” in an affectionate way.
Eventually the labs slowed. I wanted them to live forever. At 12 years, Rooney was diagnosed with a tumor in her chest. The vet said the x-ray showed it was close to her big old heart and that she probably had 3-6 months to live. The x-ray also showed that there was a bb lodged in her chest, giving us our first hint of her life before we got her. I was devastated….but Rooney was just too stubborn to give in. She lasted almost 2 years until that tumor got so big that she couldn’t eat properly. She wasted away but she was alert and tough right to the end. We finally knew that the end had to come. Below is her last day before we brought her to the vet. We brought her to the kayak company one last time to say goodbye to everyone. Here she is with her sister.
We were with her at the end, patting her while we wait for her big strong heart to give up. Oh boy did I cry. It was the day before my birthday, We have a memorial to her right in the middle of Dale’s garden, where Rooney used to mess it up. After she died, my daughter told her husband who said “she was a good dog.” Katie replied, “no she wasn’t. she was never a good dog.” Too true, but we sure did love her. It made me laugh and cry at the same time.
Surrey lasted another few months, but she also give in at 14. It was February and until the last day or two she was still chasing snowballs, her absolute favorite thing. She couldnt jump or run but she would catch a snowball thrown to her. We called Will and told him to come home as it was time to say goodbye. We scheduled for a vet to come to our house. Will wanted to take Surrey to the ocean one last time though, so we picked her up and put her in the car. We drove to the ocean and put her in a wagon so we could let her see and smell the sea one last time. The next day we said goodbye. I’m crying again just writing this. Surrey and Rooney were 14 years old, which is a good run for labs, but oh god they left a hold in our lives. So many things we did with them are now just memories. How can dogs have that much effect on our lives. Here they are, one last time for you.
I can’t end this on that note, of course, and anyone who knows us realizes thats not the end. Even before we lost Rooney and Surrey we adopted two others. First was Gimli. He is a little yellow scruffy terrier type thing. I had told Dale that I didn’t care so much for small dogs, but…..this guy had been rescued from the streets in Mexico City. Someone else in our town in Ct brought him to the USA to live with his elderly mother. That was a dumb idea – he was just a pup with a lot of energy, too much for this poor lady. So Dale said “we’ll take him.” Here he is, or was.
He was really little. We named him Gimli after a character from Lord of the Rings, a red-bearded dwarf. He’s grown a bit now and gotten chubby, but also very fun. He’s kind of sensitive and needs a lot of cuddles. He likes to be touching someone all the time, especially at night. Rooney taught him to swim and Surrey taught him to chase tennis balls and sticks. He was just a little add-on to the family, until we adopted Gracie.
My kids call them the Dumpling Twins now that they are best mates. Gracie’s story starts in Brunswick, Maine. Her mum loved her but decided she needed a new home. She had gotten divorced and had a fulltime job. Her teenagers weren’t really into Gracie so she put her up for adoption. Dale saw it and we went to visit. We pulled into the lady’s driveway and let Gimli out first – they ran around in circles playing together and the decision was made. We had two dumplings.
So now we have two dogs. We used to have four, until we lost the labs. I’m still awfully sad when I think about the labs but so glad that we have the dumplings. They are fun to walk with and play with and they are very friendly. Gracie seems to love everyone and makes a great impression. Small dogs aren’t so bad.
Bottom line we love our dogs. I could add Jack’s dog Rusko and Katie’s dog Mogul and you’d get the photo below. We love them all and I couldn’t imagine living without them. From left to right below: Surrey, Rooney, Mogul, Gimli, Gracie, and Rusko. this was a rare occurrence to be able to walk them all, and of course now we have lost the gals on the left…but they will always be a part of us.
No matter how difficult and painful it is to lose them – they just don’t live as long as we do – it’s worth it. They give us the most unconditional love we will ever find, delivered by their own unique personalities.
Don’t read this further looking for data to support my thesis. I readily admit that this post is anecdotal in nature and am sure that some MAGA types will argue it. Nonetheless….
As I watch and travel and listen and read, I see only evidence that the USA is in decline. Decline from what? The “greatest nation” or the nation of freedom or the leader of the free world? As hard as that is to define, there is little doubt (in my mind) that the United States of America has been known as a place that is “free,” that encourages innovation and is where many others seek to resettle.
Those views may or may not hold water, of course – our “freedom” came with a dose of genocide of our own. Oh what – you don’t think that we tried to eliminate the native Americans we found here? come on, get real. You don’t think that our ‘freedom’ hardly applied to those with dark skin for many years, or for the Japanese we interred in camps? Where do you think Hitler learned about racism and eugenics? He learned it from the USA. Nonetheless, there is little doubt that people who wanted to emigrate, likely chose the USA. We particularly enjoyed an influx of brains – people who came to our vaunted universities to study and then make a living. Our immigrants include such luminaries as Alberti Einstein, Sergey Brin, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Isaac Asimov and yes even Elon Musk. People want to come to USA. They came for freedom from oppression, for the promises of success, for the chance to raise a family.
USA also held a special place as a role model, earned or not. We spent money to help the oppressed and to support democracy (a worthy cause?). Other countries’ citizens looked up to us. Some wanted to be like us (some did not, of course). We were seen as a liberal democracy. The word ‘liberal’ is not a dirty word. A liberal democracy is “a system of representative government that balances majority rule with the protection of individual rights and freedoms. In this framework, state power is strictly limited by a constitution to prevent the “tyranny of the majority” and to safeguard the civil liberties of all citizens.” (look it up).
So where are we now?
I travel and read and listen and the best summary of what I hear is “we used to look up to you.” You can get a good taste of it from Mark Carney, Canada’s remarkable leader. A realist, he understands that he can no longer count on USA the way that he and the rest of the world has been used to – as a reliable partner. We are no longer a reliable partner, we cannot be counted on to help when needed (just ask the folks in Ukraine, or Gaza). We elected leaders who are selfish and think the world is a win-lose proposition defined by who gets the deal. Our government runs on bribes – what, you don’t think those monies contributed from billionaires are bribes? Come on, grow up.
By the way, as awful and corrupt as Donald Trump and his family are, the problem started well before him. Our politicians (both Democrats and Republicans) have needed those huge donations from the wealthy and are then indebted to them. Our decline didn’t begin two years ago or 8 years ago.
We are no longer the team that demonstrates empathy, that helps, and that uses our own success to build a better world. That better world is not just our own, but the bigger world, and the future world for our kids. Our heritage has been to support our citizens – all of them, not just the wealthy ones.
My kids accuse my generation of messing things up, from climate change to politics. I am quite sure they are right.
Can we pull out of this downward spiral? I don’t really think so, at least not completely – I don’t see how we can fully recover our position of leadership and trust. Who would trust us going forward – we elected a complete asshole as our leader…twice. I do however think that we can achieve a position of respect and an acknowledgement that we have owned up to our mistakes. I think we can become a force for good again, and earn back some measure of trust, from our citizens and those around the world. It will take time, probably a lot of it, but we have no choice. We need to recover at least some of the ‘goodness’ we were known for, whether legitimate or not.
I hope so. I like it here. The bullshit “if you don’t like it, just leave” is just that. This is my country, but its place in the world is relevant, especially as the world keeps getting smaller.
I read novels, and I enjoy them; mostly they are either escapist (Baldacci, Michael Connolly) or moving, thought-provoking and admirable (Theo of Golden, Julian Barnes, Fredrik Backman, Dickens). I am usually reading at least two books, one of which is fiction and the other is non-fiction. I’m currently reading David Copperfield, which for some reason I never read when younger. Dickens is a beautiful writer, and I am enjoying it. I also love historic London as a setting. Then there are the audiobooks – if I have a long drive, or a long walk, an audiobook is my partner. Most often those are the escapist novels. Reacher stories are fun, as are Harlan Coben or Michael Connolly.
Nonetheless, I prefer non-fiction. It keeps my attention, it makes me think and teaches me. I do have a thirst for life-long learning (maybe I am just running from the Alzheimers that runs in my family) and my taste in non-fiction is myriad. I recently finished Robert Reich’s latest book Coming Up Short and Naomi Klein’s Doppelganger. They were both good and I wrote a recent blog about them. I preferred Reich – he’s fabulous, but Klein is an excellent writer and forces the read to look into a variety of topics. In reading Doppelganger I was intrigued by a passage late in the book about something called Bundism. I had never heard of the Bund movement. The Bunds believed that their home is where they live, and that they didn’t need to displace others to create a new country (i.e. Israel, displacing Palestine). It is in clear opposition to Zionism. I have read several books about the Palestinians in the last year, searching for knowledge about them – having grown up in the USA we are fed many stories about the jews and Zionism – the damage done by the holocaust is inarguable – yet I don’t see how it gives them permission to treat the Palestinians almost as poorly. So I picked up Here Where We Live Is Our Country, by Molly Crabapple, recommended in that passage of Doppelganger. Crabapple says in the Introduction that Jews could never escape their problems by the dispossession of others. Instead, Bundists created the doctrine of “hereness.” I am just starting the book, but you get my point….I learn so much from reading. I enjoy reading fiction, but I don’t really learn from it – reading non-fiction is my continuing education program. I would go back to college if I could, but this is a pretty good substitute.
For what it’s worth, the other non-fiction books I have read so far this year include:
Andrew Ross Sorkin’s 1929: Inside the Greatest Crash in Wall Street History.
Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz’s An Indigenous Peoples’ History of the United States.
David Attenborough’s Ocean: Earth’s Last Wildernes
Tracy Smith’s memoir, Ordinary Light
John Green’s Everything Is Tuberculosis: The History ad Persistence
Omar Akkad’s One Day, Everyone Will Have Always Been Against This
Walter Isaacson’s bio of Elon Musk
As you can probably tell from the above, my tastes are wide-ranging. I have learned about the 1929 crash, tuberculosis, our genocide of the native americans, the ociean, and Elon Musk, who I do not admire, but Isaacson’s biography was fascinating. Avoiding subjects that I don’t agree with is like children who believe the world goes away when they cover your eyes.
A word about book clubs. I don’t usually partake, as I like choosing my own books, thank you very much. However, I did join one in our small town in Maine, because they were choosing some books that I would have chosen for myself. Most recently, someone chose Doppelganger, which I read and admired. We got on our zoom meeting to discuss recently and I learned that I was the only one (of about 8-10 people) who had bothered to finish the book, other than the lady who chose it of course. They took turns saying how boring it was, how they didn’t want to read about topics that make them feel bad (society’s recent and current ills) and I was taken aback. They all seem to prefer novels, which deliver stories that they can enjoy and escape into. While I understand the attraction (I do it as well) I was disappointed that they have no taste for learning from non-fiction. Some of the non-fiction I read is about troubling subjects (covid, the troubles in Ireland, USA politics, Israel and Gaza) but if I don’t stare at these issues and try to understand them better, my head is in the sand. Obviously many people do not agree. That’s okay.
Over the last couple of weeks I read these two books. Robert Reich’s book “Coming Up Short” and Naomi Klein’s book “Doppelganger.”
Reich’s title is a play on the fact that he is extraordinarily short (just under 5 feet tall) and the fact that our democracy has come up way short in recent years. I agree, and it was quite interesting to hear his fact-based analysis.
Klein’s book uses her study of doppelgangers (mirrors of herself, ourselves) to study issues as varied as conspiracy theories and the influence of US history on Hitler.
They are both clearly liberals, frustrated and/or disappointed with where we stand today, critical of how our society encouraged the rise of Donald Trump and insistent that he is the result, not the cause of our current clear abandonment of global leadership, integrity and respect for democracy.
Reich is a former Secretary of Labor under Bill Clinton, professor at Harvard and Berkley and author of many books. I listened on Audible to this, his latest book, because he narrated it, so I got to hear it all in his voice. Reich is extraordinary – articulate, bright as a button and he must have been a wonderful teacher. He recounts how US political and economic issues have led us to where we are today, over the last 40 years. Democrats and Republicans both have ignored the important needs to most citizens, succumbing to the big money offered by our wealthiest. It could be seen as bribery, the way people like Musk, Thiel and others have spent millions on politicians, influencing their attention in extraordinary ways. Reich argues that people feeling ignored and left behind was a natural consequence, and he affixes blame to his own boss Clinton as well as Bush and Trump. His observations and analysis are absorbing and I highly recommend this book. Somehow we need to get back to paying attention to the full populace in this country. The separation and divisiveness of the wealthy has created a mess, is leading to fascism, and reactions to it are understandable.
In her book, Naomi Klein gets a little whiny about her doppelganger Naomi Wolf. Klein explains that many people have confused the two Naomis, which clearly (and understandably) bothers Klein immensely. You see, Naomi Wolf started as a voice for women, a liberal voice, but when she found influence via some crazy conspiracy theories during covid, she gravitated. Soon Wolf was a regular guest on Steve Bannon’s podcast show, a far right-wing group, seeking maximum attention, and encouraging a variety of silly conspiracy theories about vaccines and many other topics. Klein pays great attention to Bannon and Wolf, claiming that not paying attention is like “kids who think the world disappears when they close their eyes.” Point made.
Did Hitler actually copy his theories about eugenics, the superiority of the white population and the need to establish their superiority, from the Americans? The answer seems to me – from a variety of readings from history (not just Klein) is yes. The American treatment of blacks and native Americans provides a clear path that Hitler took even further. There is little call for a sense of superiority in the USA, even as we express appropriate disgust at the callousness of the Germans in the 1940s. Our attempts at genocide on the indigenous peoples and our advantage taken of black people are shameful parts of our past that we still struggle to deal with. We feel sympathy for the jews, which is well deserved…but none for the Palestinians, displaced by those very jews, and also treated quite badly. I learned about Bundism v Zionism. The Bunds believed that nationalism itself is the enemy, and the wellspring of race hatred.
What does this all have to do with doppelgangers? It’s a stretch, in my view, but she argues that it has led to distorted reality, a mirror society, and has led to the divisive politics of identity and of the climate crisis. It’s a lot, and I do little justice to Naomi Klein in this post – she is a brilliant, engaging and clear writer – worth reading.
I haven’t been everywhere, but based on the 40+ countries I have visited in the last 40+ years, I am quite sure that New Zealand is the most beautiful place on earth. We’ve just returned from a 10-day visit to the south island of New Zealand. It wasn’t our first visit, as we did live in Australia for 3 years and made a point of visiting NZ. So, the phenomenon whereby your first visit to some place is not as exquisite as the second visit – that does not apply to this place.
We were based primarily in Cromwell, a small town in the south island. I went for a 35km bike ride, visited Queenstown and Arrowtown, Bluff and Te Aura, and went kayaking on Doubtful Sound.
Milford Sound is most famous place to visit in the south island, I think. We went there some years ago and it is truly gorgeous. However, these days it is ‘discovered’ and because you can drive there, it can be busy with tourists on guided tours. We chose Doubtful Sound – it is quite difficult to get to. We took a bus to a boat to a bus to a boat and finally ended up at the Sound, where we got in our sea kayaks. I think we saw one boat during the day. The waterfalls and the unspoiled scenery were just magical. I hope it stays that way.
We also did our duty in exploring some of the wine region in Central Otago. There are over 40 vineyards in the south island alone. We went to three in the Bannockburn region – Carrick https://www.carrick.co.nz/, Mt Difficulty (www.mtdifficulty.nz) and Dicey https://www.dicey.nz/, run by the Dicey brothers. Each was beautiful and had wonderful wines. This region is known for Pinot Noir and it did not disappoint.
Driving around New Zealand is a treat in itself. The scenery is just beautiful and you will of course see sheep and cattle everwhere. The ratio of sheep to humans is still about 5:1 (less than it used to be when we first visited) but in the Southland region it is about 80:1.
There are no dangerous predators on the island of New Zealand – they don’t have poisonous spiders and snakes and frankly the people (they call themselves kiwis) are the nicest population we have run across. I don’t think I have met a kiwi who isn’t a nice person…not hard to understand given the heaven where they live. Our daughter even married one!
I’ve never gone to visit NZ without thinking “gee, could I make a living if I stayed here?”
I realize that it’s obvious – all of the US Presidents have been men, and all but one have been white men. (tall white men.)
I’m not sure that’s served us well.
I think back on the Presidents who have been in office that I can recall having an opinion about. Nixon was clearly a poor choice – hindsight is great. I didn’t think that much of Reagan – seemed like a nice man, but not sure about him as President. I did respect George HW Bush; solid, high integrity, honest and had relevant experience. Not so much his son W – not sure he was quite bright enough, though hindsight on him is a lot better than the one we have now, of course. At least he was – or seemed to be – an honest man. Jimmy Carter was a good, honest individual – maybe not a President, but someone we can look back on with respect. Bill Clinton was highly intellligent; super smart fellow – i listened to him speak live at an event once and he was awfully impressive. Maybe not quite as high in integrity as some of the others, but he had Hillary at his side, bless her. I thought Obama had most of what it takes – great role model, highly intelligent, honest. Probably made some mistakes with international policy, but I don’t know that any of these people got away without making mistakes. Speaking of mistakes – Joe Biden – a very nice old man, but not a great choice for President. I believe he was an honest man – conservative smearing notwithstanding – but that’s just the ante to play. What do I mean by that?
I think our President needs to be:
highly intelligent; this is a complex job
a good judge of talent; he/she needs to be surrounded by excellent advisors and willing to listen to them. No one is an expert at everything.
honest. high integrity – a not insignificant aspect is that of being a role model. Obama, Lincoln, (elder) Bush, and many others were excellent role models.
A good negotiator – we have allies and we also know that other leaders are less in our camp. Cannot be taken advantage of by those. And then there is congress to negotiate with as well, of course.
Others will identify additional traits that are critical to being a successful president but these are the ones that occur to me. I also know that choosing a President is not the only important thing with regards to having our country continue to be successful and a role model in many ways. Many solutions are local. It is where I choose to participate.
The fellow that some of you voted for and clearly elected – TWICE – and is in the office today, fails pretty much all of my critical quality tests. He is not very bright, he is not a good negotiator, he is dishonest and lies about everything, he does not surround himself with quality people and doesn’t listen to them in any case. Donald Trump is an embarassment, an infuriating mistake that our country will be paying for – for generations, i fear. He has taught the world that they cannot count on us to be helpful global leaders any longer much less good neighbors. Our alllies are learning to fend for themselves, do without us or ally with others. Our “enemies” (are they really?) see the current environment as only opportunists can. It all makes me sick to my stomach, and I am desperate for it to end.
Back to the title – would we benefit from having a woman in the office? If she has the qualities I have outlined, for sure. There are, however, as many poor female choices as there are male choices – would you want Kristi Noem, or Pam Bondi to be our President? I shiver as much as I do about JD Vance. Would Hilary Clinton have been a good President? I do think so – she is very intelligent, seems to listen well, communicate well enough(?) and is able to negotiate. All that bullshit about her emails was so insignificant in comparison to…oh well.
I have made no mention of political party. I am not sure I mind whether our president is a democrat or a republican – they are both failing us right now, I would have loved to see John McCain as President. I also think there are some strong democrats. This is not about liberal v conservative either. Trump is not a conservative. He is the opposite of the definition of conservative – he is a radical!
My purpose here is not to choose the next President. Frankly I would take almost anyone other than this corrupt imbecile in the office today. Trump is a bully and conducts himself like a mafia boss. I hope we survive him, choose a high integrity leader next time, and convince the bulk of our populace that they made a poor or misinformed decision this past time. I could forgive them. I think.
I just finished Frederick Backman’s latest book, My Friends. Its as much fun as he always is, but more than fun – also clever and thought provoking. At one point, he says (or his character says) that “we’re not like two magnets. We’re like two colors. Once they were mixed together there was no way of separating them.”
I stopped, and dog-eared the page (i didn’t have a pen handy). If you have a solid marriage, as I do, this might resonate….like two colors mixed together. how good is that?
There are things my wife is far better at than I. There are a few things that I am better at. Together we seem to get things done. Now that I am retired, the two colors are even more mixed together. We walk the dogs, play pickleball (i prefer tennis, but will take what i can), travel to be with the kids. I know we have been married for 40 years. I have no idea how long we will last, but hopefully for quite some time.
What will happen when one of us goes first? What about the colors? I can’t manage everything without her. The colors are already mixed and cannot be separated. Maybe she would do better than I if I go first. Hopefully the kids will help.
We said goodby to Surrey on February 3, 2026. She had been with us – as my son Will’s dog – since 2/11/12. She was a little over 14 years old. It has taken me several weeks to get up the courage to write this post.
We have had many pets over the years. I have said goodbye to Malcolm and MacDuff, to Adelaide, Jasper, Court, Cinderella and a number of others. These last six months have seen the loss of Stevie the 10-year-old chicken, Rooney, my beloved and crazy/kooky yellow lab, and now Surrey.
Surrey merits a short essay. Dale found her on an online site called “adopt-a-lab” and we sent away for her to be delivered from somewhere down south where the litter had been rescued from. She was only about 2 months old – too young to be adopted to be honest
She was a birthday gift for Will and he met her at the beach where we brought her to meet him after “Freezin’ for a Reason” in Fairfield Ct. Will fell in love with Surrey of course – we named her after our home in England. Surrey was the sweetest little puppy I’ve ever met. She played with Sydney, our gray tabby cat. She learned to chase and then to catch tennis balls. As she grew, Surrey became the greatest tennis ball catching machine I’d seen since Vic (when I was in college). She could handle a fastball from many yards away. In the winter it was all about snowballs. Snowballs were her favorite thing in the world and she would sit trembling from the cold out in the snow waiting for you to throw “just one more” unless you forced her to come back in the house.
Surrey’s personality was unlike any dog we’d had prior or since. She was sweet and demure. She didn’t rough house or play with other dogs (other than those in our family, and even then it was rare). She loved people. She would go introduce herself to anyone, play with anyone and only raise her voice to command a tennis ball or a snowball. In short, she was adorable.
When in Maine we always had to bring a ball, a stick or a snowball with us on walks in the woods. Will could bring Surrey anywhere. She visited him at college in Gettysburg, Pa and was the most popular on campus. She would settle in the car anytime you asked her to and you could forget she was there she was so quiet. Will and I drove from Maine to Colorado one year with Surrey nestled in the back, on top of all the luggage. Never a peep of complaint. I am guilty of putting her in the back of the truck and forgetting she was there when I got out, only to remember an hour or so later! She would just get up and hop out like that hour was nothing more than a rest time for her. Surrey’s personality was so wonderful that we got her trained and certified as a service dog and she would go to old age homes to visit with the residents – all of whom fell in love with her at first sight.
When Will started his kayaking business in Maine (Osprey’s Echo Sea Kayaking), Surrey became the face of the company. She accompanied him on site and would trot up the hill to greet every customer upon arrival….every single one. It was her job – to greet customers, and they loved it. You only had to meet her to see how incredible she was – gentle, friendly, sweet. I don’t know how its going to feel this year when we start our kayaking season….without her for the first time.
Surrey was almost perfect. If pushed to come up with her areas for improvement I’d have to say she was quite a beggar, and she tended to poop wherever she felt like it. Our other dogs would take the time to walk into the woods to poop, but Surrey seemed to think it was sufficient simply FACE the woods when she pooped, and then carry on with her walk. She begged for food every chance she got. Curiously she loved vegetables and in fact broccoli was her favorite. whatever. Oh, and she was a terrible swimmer. Her sister Rooney was a tremendous swimmer, could go for miles. Surrey would swim a bit, get salt water in the mouth and then naturally produce diarrhea. We gave up on her swimming – people would find it curious that we had a lab who was a terrible swimmer. It’s just Surrey.
As Surrey got older, she still went to work every day at the kayaking company but chose to trot up the hill only periodically and wait at the bottom sometimes – always getting up to greet customers, though. In the fall, she would chase the apples that fell from the tree and rolled down the ramp to the water. She ate many of them.
During her last year – 2025 – I told everyone that she would live forever, because that’s what we needed from this most loving creature we ever had. I knew in my mind it had to end, but in my heart I couldn’t face it. She became slower, but she was still Surrey. In January she slowed considerably…until it snowed. Even after losing weight and facing her own mortality she chased and caught snowballs – right up to the week before she left us. I don’t know if I can throw a snowball again without thinking of Surrey.
The end was quiet – as everything about Surrey was. Surrey was with me and Dale but we had been planning to bring her to spend the weekend with Will up at Sugarloaf mountain where he worked on weekends in the winter. We knew the end was near but hoped she would get one last weekend in Maine. As she started to fail we called Will and told him he needed to get to our new home in Exeter NH to say goodbye as she wasn’t going to make it to Sugarloaf.
Will got excused from work, drove to Exeter and spent two last days with Surrey. Mostly he just lay on the floor with her, sleeping with her through the night. We made an appointment with a vet to come to our home on 2/3 at 5pm to put our dear girl to sleep. We wanted her to be at home, comfortable and surrounded by us. Will said “let’s take her to the beach.” It was a nice idea – during the afternoon we drove her to the beach so she could see the ocean and feel fresh air one last time. Will and Surrey sat in the sand together. Then we went home and waited for he vet.
All three of us cried our eyes out and we continue to cry (as I am now). Saying goodbye to Surrey was the hardest thing I can remember. I cried when we lost Rooney and all of our beloved pets, but there was something about Surrey that was special to our family. Will wrote a social media post the day after she died. He wrote:
“Don’t underestimate the impact a dog can have on a young man growing up. Surrey has been my best friend for over half my life now. For 14 years she has been with me though high school, college, living abroad, living in multiple states with me, starting a business, and so much more. Her love for people made her adored and admired by everyone. Whether it be friends, family, kayakers, kids, elderly homes, and many more. I knew this day would come but still can’t believe it. Rest in Peace Surrey (2012-2026)”
We will miss you and always love you, dear Surrey. Thank you for all the love you gave to us.
I have never thought so. I was brought up to believe that we – the USA – are not only the most powerful nation on earth, but also the one that takes care of the world. We spent billions in Africa, we ran to the defense of a multitude of peoples who we thought were in need of help. We won World War II, you’re all very welcome.
Every once in a while, however, I lift up the covers on our history. We know how we treated the african slaves and how long it took for us to disband that part of our culture. We were the first nation to simply decide that white is best – it was the Americans that the German nazis copied- eugenics.
And then there is the Native Americans.
I just finished a book called An Indigenous People’s History of the United States (Revisioning American History), by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz. In it, the author gives us the history of the US through the eyes of the Native Americans. European settlers didn’t just move in, take over the land and establish primacy. They (we?) set out to completely eliminate the indigenous population. (“The only good indian is a dead indian – thank you General Sheridan”). The author does not shy away from calling it genocide. This treatise destroys a good deal of what we learned in school, and make all of those popular western movies kind of embarassing; you know, the ones where the cowboys and white soldiers are the good guys and the “injuns” are the bad guys?
And now – in this day and age – we think it’s our responsibility to depose other countries’ leaders (Venezuela being the latest). We think it’s within our rights to simply ‘take over’ another country – will we really take over Greenland?
I fear that the undercurrent of ‘might is right’ as espoused by our current leaders represents the thinking of far too many of our citizenry to simply be dismissed as the ravings of a complete asshole.
Maybe Trump and MAGA isn’t the cause of all this. Maybe he is the result of it
mikesteinharter.com 