I listened to an interesting podcast (Sway) whereby a rap star named Killer Mike was interviewed. I’m not much of a rap fan, but this is an interesting guy. He was angry after George Floyd was murdered by that police officer. Many people were angry and had a right to be of course; it was an abuse of power of the most egregious sort, and has inspired protests all over the world. Some have become violent while some (most?) are peaceful. The violent protests permit people like Donald Trump to trumpet that this is the problem with the world, ie “democrat-run” cities permit violent protests.

It turns out Killer Mike is a big fan of the X-men movies (i have to agree with him there). He finds them not only entertaining but instructive and with moral lessons for us all. He said something like “Magneto has a point.” What he meant is that Magneto’s past was troubled; he was tortured and experimented on by the Nazis and so he has every right to be angry and to want to burn down the house. Professor X, however, wants to be helpful, and find solutions to the world’s problems, rather than violence. He wants to repair the house, not burn it down.

Killer Mike was furious just after George Floyd was murdered and wanted to burn down the house. It is understandable that he felt like Magneto. Yet he took a deep breath and remembered that the better answer is to become like Professor X. Mike began productive charitable works instead of violent protests.

Good lesson, i thought. We deserve to be angry…let’s work on solutions instead of burning down the house, as enticing as that sounds at times. Thanks Mike.

As a follow up to my “how can I help” post, I’d like to double back on one of the books I mentioned. I have just recently finished reading Caste, by Isabel Wilkerson. Wilkerson wrote The Warmth of Other Suns, which I read back when it came out, and gave 5* on Goodreads.

Caste just came out, so recently that there are references to the pandemic crisis at the end of the book. Her research, however, is about the “caste” systems in India, USA and Nazi Germany, and how they compare. She calls what we have in the US a caste system rather than simply racism and explains how people in the higher caste (in the case of the USA, it’s white people, especially white men) treat people in the lower and lowest castes. These are largely determined by race in USA, but not everywhere. India’s caste system is not based on race, but on heredity, religion, tradition. The Nazis of course established that the jews would be in the lowest caste. Interestingly, when the Germans of the 1930s were trying to determine how best to deal with their ‘jewish problem,’ the place they looked to study was the US. How Americans (white Americans) treated the negro back then was instructive and formative for the Germans in establishing their policies and practices. As we now know, it resulted in the deaths of millions of jews. Of course in USA, many black people have been lynched, tortured or otherwise abused in the 400 years of history.

Her book is a remarkable study – well researched and extraordinarily well-written. I enjoyed it, I learned a lot, and was furious and frustrated many times. How can the country that likes to talk about how “all men are created equal” treat people this way, based on the color of their skin.

Wilkerson writes at one point how she gave a lecture in the UK, recounting how so many black Americans had to seek political asylum with the borders of their own country (read Warmth of Other Suns). A person in the audience that day was from Africa, and came up to the author after the lecture. She said “you know there are no black people in Africa. Africans are not black. They are Igbo and Yorubo, Ewe, Akan, Ndebele. They are not black. They are just people.” “They don’t become black until they go to America,” she said. “Then they are black.”

Americans grow up with unavoidable unconscious bias about black people. It has always been thus and has only become more legitimized under President Trump. He didn’t create it, he just makes white elitism seem okay, even permissible. Interestingly, since Lyndon Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act in 1964, no Democrat running for president has ever won a majority of the white vote. Jimmy Carter – a fellow southerner – came the closest with 48%. Whites have fled to the Republican party ever since. Only three Democrats have won the presidency since Johnson: Carter, Obama and Bill Clinton, another southerner, who won with 39% in 1992 and 44% in 1996.

And where are we now? With regards to the strenuous feelings radiating toward Muslims, Mexican and other non-white immigrants and blacks, it all seems to be getting worse, not better. How can people think we are making “America Great Again” during these times. We had a black President, and that seems to have stirred up the dominant caste, who turned to Donald Trump as their savior. We have yet to elect a woman President, and by the time the first woman from a major party nomination ran for President, 60 other countries had already had a woman head of state, including the UK, Germany, India, Australia, and many others.

Finally, I found the vignette about Albert Einstein interesting. Einstein – a jew – left Germany just as Hitler became Chancellor, and moved to the USA where he became quite well known. “The worst disease is the treatment of the Negro,” he wrote in 1946. “The more I feel an American, the more this situation pains me,” Einstein wrote. “I can escape the feelings of complicity in it only by speaking out.” He used his fame to do so. He co-chaired a committee to end lynching. He joined the NAACP (I never thought of that – I have now also joined!). He spoke out on behalf of civil rights leaders.

Einstein chose what to do. I guess he can inspire us to consider the same. In the meantime, read this book, it is very good. Thanks Ms Wilkerson.

This seems to be a reasonable question and a common one. If the context is structural racism and the Black Lives Matter movement, the question takes on some currency and for some people some urgency.

Let’s assume you are not black (if you are black, you probably know how you can help and don’t need advice or insights from the white community). For those of us who are white privileged we start of course by recognizing that the answer to “Black Lives Matter!” is “yes they do,” not “but don’t all lives matter?” Of course all lives matter, but black lives have been seen as the USAs lower caste (ready Isabel Wilkerson’s stunning new book, Caste for an in-depth discussion comparing the caste systems of the US, India and Nazi Germany). If you have been in the lower caste for hundreds of years then people have been conditioned to propagate this environment, and it becomes supported by the infrastructure of our legal and voting systems, and the likes of ‘redlining.’ If you don’t believe the US is still a largely racist society then move on…this blog entry is not for you. According to Wilkerson, most Americans have been exposed to a culture with enough negative messages about African-Americans and other marginalized groups that as much as 80 percent of white Americans hold unconscious bias against black Americans, bias so automatic that it kicks in before a person can process it.

If you still want to consider “what can I do to help?” I offer a few thoughts. First and foremost, do whatever you can. Go out and join a BLM protest if that’s your thing. Give money to relevant causes. My friend (retired) Professor Steve Rogers of Harvard says we should do business with black-run businesses, especially banks – take out loans from a black-run bank…if you can find one,

Get educated. Read! Reading means learning, Here are a few books that I have found quite compelling:

1 White Fragility, by Robin DiAngelo. Lessons for white people on how to deal with ingrained lessons of racism that they undoubtedly grew up with.

2. How to Be an Antiracist, by Ibram Kendl. Kendl calls on his own personal journey, and refers to racism as a disease that must be battled as such.

3. Micromessaging, by Stephen Young – this one is not new, but I have re-read it recently. When I met Steve he was doing seminars teaching people how to be aware of all the non-verbal cues they give off.

4. What Truth Sounds Like, by Michael Eric Dyson. I never knew this story about how RFK got educated about what life is really like for black Americans, from James Baldwin and his friends. Fascinating.

5. The Nickel Boys, by Colson Whitehead. If you’re in the mood for fiction that tells a lesson along with a story.

6. Just Mercy, by Bryan Stevenson. Now a movie, I read this when it came out and was floored. What a story, this guy. Stevenson started Equal Justice Initiative (EJI) and this is his story. powerful.

7. We Were Eight Years in Power, by Ta-Nehisi Coates. A great author, this is a series of his articles about the Obama years.

8. Waking Up White, by Debby Irving. I read this one back in 2016. She declares that white is a race too, and we need to think differently about this.

9. Between The World and Me, by Ta-Nehisi Coates. This was his earlier book and my favorite. It’s basically a letter to his young son about what it will be like to be black in America.

10. Caste, by Isabel Wilkerson – as mentioned above, this is a new book and quite a study. Did you know that the Nazis studied America and how the south treated blacks to determine how they might treat the jews?

11. The Warmth of Other Suns, also by Isabel Wilkerson – she is really really good. 5*

These are just a few of the many I have read. They are all very interesting, very readable and very educational. As my friend Prof Rogers said to me, “own the story.”

Okay so you (we, white people!) can protest, give money and get educated, but there is more we can do. We can get involved. There are many wonderful organizations that are either dedicated to fighting racial injustice or happen to have a significant impact even if it’s not the core mission. My example is the group I have been involved in since 2004, Junior Achievement. Junior Achievement (JA) is a global organization with chapters in many geographies around the world. Each chapter follows the JA mission, to inspire and prepare young people to succeed in a global economy. JA does this by creating and providing curriculum that can be delivered in schools, in class or out of class, by volunteers. The way it works is that busy executives like me decide to volunteer our time to teach. JA provides curriculum that is of incremental value to what schools teach. JA doesn’t teach math, chemistry or english. It provides volunteers the opportunity to be role models for kids by teaching financial literacy, entrepreneurship, and career readiness. The mission doesn’t say anything about fighting racial injustice, but in our chapter (in Connecticut) we prioritize communities with a great need and so we end up teaching many young black kids. I love doing it – I get in front of kids from all ages and tell them stories about the business world, leveraging the JA curriculum.

JA is just one example of an organization that provides an opportunity for people to get involved and help. I have friends who enjoy teaching a class to a group of kids in Bridgeport, Ct or Harlem in NYC (where I started), or elsewhere. It is rewarding. I have also been involved in the past with A Better Chance (ABC). I was a lucky youngster – my Dad felt strongly enough about “doing something” that he took time from his busy job as a banker and started a local chapter of ABC. ABC identifies young people of color who have great potential, but because of their circumstances (primarily where they live – mostly inner city kids) they will have a hard time achieving that success. ABC offers to take them out of their community, house them in a specially purchased home and go to a highly regarded high school. It is designed to prepare them and help them go to college. Oh, by the way – my friend Professor Steve Rogers was an ABC kid, when my Dad was President of Radnor ABC in the 1970s. Rogers went on to Williams College, got an MBA at Harvard, became a successful entrepreneur, and then a professor at first Northwestern Business School and then Harvard Business School. Not bad, for a kid from the wrong side of the tracks in Chicago.

Those are just a couple of ideas. Many people will have many more that are just as valuable to the world and to helping bring value to a world that is troubled by structural racism.

Seems like a really dumb question, ya?

We watch our current buffoon of a president lie all the time and I assume that most of us think it’s a shame. Yet many people – millions of them, if the news is to believed – really don’t care if he tells the truth or not. Some probably believe that he is in fact telling the truth, even when it seems clear that he is not.

Qanon is professed to be a group of people who tell the truth – their own version of the truth – by espousing conspiracy theories. I expect many of them believe they are telling the truth.

Sometimes I or a family member say exactly what we think to another of us, and it feels like telling the truth. We rationalize that even if it is something hurtful we said, it is okay because it is what we think at the time and it is supposed to be good to get our emotions out…? Of course sometime later – the next day or week – we feel kinda bad about cursing out a loved family member, and then there is the matter of the awkward apology.

How much truth is good? How much is enough? How much is too much?

What are the rules?

There are no rules. The key word here is judgment.

There is no substitute for good judgment. It comes from experience. When we are young we are told to always tell the truth, and we end up trying to do so. As we grow older, we start to use our judgment about what truths to tell, and which ones to keep to ourselves. Saying “that lady is really fat” when spotting someone across the street is an obvious example. We use our judgment to keep our thoughts to ourselves.

Now we are adults, or at least pretend to be. Is it okay to call your spouse an asshole, or your bother a cheater? Is it okay to tell stories like conspiracy theories out loud before we know if they are true, or will hurt someone? As a professional, I managed people over many years in the IT industry. Good judgment in an employee became the most important characteristic i would try to recognize in someone. If an employee knew how to handle a customer, knew when to ask for help, knew when to complain and knew when to just get on with her job, this was notable and admirable. It built trust. I could trust in her judgment and not have to worry about checking it.

We can think about our friends, our family members and our leaders in terms of how good their judgment seems to be. There are some laws that prevent President Trump from certain activities. But there are not rules for everything. Sometimes it is about judgment. Are you okay with his judgment on how he treats people? If not, that is important. You may feel you cannot trust him. If you are okay with his judgment and you trust him, well, frankly it says something about your judgment too.

I judge this essay to be long enough for now. Happy Labor Day, for those who care.

I had an idea once. It may have been my best idea. ever. Oh, and I stole it (modified it) from someone I sat next to on a plane. Here it is…

When we moved to Australia, my kids were 8, 6, 4 and 6 months old, as indicated in my last entry. As I explained, one of the compelling reasons to take the job was to force the family out of its (and my) comfort zone and the bubble of living in our lovely little town in Connecticut. We moved to another country. I thought about ways to get my kids thinking even more about the world at large and made them the following deal – I said that I would take each of them anywhere they would like to go in the world. Anywhere. There were only two rules: 1) it is just me and that kid, and 2) you have to be 16. My theory was that by the time they were 16, they would probably have far more important things to do than hang around with Daddy, so this would be a forced connection and bonding opportunity. It was genius. Besides, what better use of my frequent flier miles, eh?

My oldest was 8 at the time, and got the point. She spent the next 8 years thinking about the world and where she wanted to go when she hit 16 and qualified. She was rigorous – researching countries, ruling out some and considering many. After moving from Sydney to London, she was at the international school and according to the teacher’s program (sorry, programme) they all had pen pals from other countries. Katie had a pen pal in Argentina, by the name of Augustina Zarich. Augustina was daughter to a colleague of mine from IBM Argentina, a very nice guy. Katie got to practice her spanish with Augustina and Augustina got to practice her english with Katie. You probably see where this is going – Katie chose Argentina for her coveted “16 trip,” partly so she could actually meeting Augustina.

It was the trip of a lifetime. Imagine getting two weeks with one (each) child, to do whatever we wanted. We planned the trip together and saw Buenos Aires, flew up to Salta, hired a rental car and drove north to a little village called Pumamarca, which has – we are 100% convinced – the greatest empanadas in the world. Katie and I had a wonderful time (and once again, my wife was the hero – for letting me do this).

My second daughter chose Vietnam, an inspired choice, likely designed to get the absolute most value for her cause. She also wanted to choose a country I had not been to, which I really appreciated. I had been to many countries in Asia, but not yet to Vietnam. We worked together on a plan to visit North Vietnam, including Hanoi and Ha Long Bay, as well as the south, visit seaside towns and ending up in Ho Chi Minh City (formerly known as Saigon). On the way home we stopped in Cambodia and visited the temples at Angkor Wat. Stunning, amazing, and unbelievable. We learned so much about the cultures in Vietnam and Cambodia, even in our short visit. We went to the war museum in Ho Chi Minh, where we learned about the War of American Aggression and the atrocities inflicted on local Vietnamese. You see, it’s not called the Vietnam war over there. Sarah and I had a trip of a lifetime for sure, and we will always remember it.

My third child is my son Jack. He saw I was good for this bet, so did lots and lots of homework. He was close to choosing Iceland until someone suggested Turkey. We went to Turkey. At the time, it was also a country I had not been to, though I have been there a few times since. Jack and I went to Istanbul, of course, but then also hit the road and went to Cappadocia in the center of the country, which was gorgeous. We went up in hot air balloons and I will always remember that. We went to Ephysus and Bodrum and other ancient towns that were beautiful and educational. One recurring memory is from one of our last evenings in the country, when Jack took his socks off and admitted that he had worn the same pair for the whole trip. jesus christ they stunk. hilarious.

My last child is Will. He is four years behind Jack and did a lot of research as well. He thought seriously about China. His love of soccer became an overriding driver, however, and he chose Brazil…during the 2014 World Cup. What a treat that was. We are both huge soccer fans, so we planned a trip around the country, combining World Cup matches with exploring the local culture. We went to Sao Paolo, Manaus, Salvador and of course ended up in Rio de Janeiro. Manaus was unique as it is up in the Amazon rainforest. We stayed up in the rainforest for several days at an ecolodge and then went to the USA-Portugal match at the new stadium in Manaus. Salvador was another very unique part of the country, influenced by African culture. Rio was spectacular during the World Cup as there were people from all over the world, enjoying themselves and watching matches on an enormous screen on the beach.

These four trips were the best things I have done in my life. I spent time with my kids, and on each trip we learned a lot about the local culture, attempted to learn rudimentary words from the language and see the world through their eyes. Sadly, most Americans never get this privilege. My kids and I know just how lucky we all are. My kids have grown up as far better global citizens than I was when I grew up. They are fearless about traveling the world and open to people from different cultures and with different views about life. I love that.

p.s. you are all welcome to steal this idea. some of my friends have done so.

In many of the interesting and important books being written about racism, structural racism, white fragility and the like an important point is made about bias. We all have some baked-in bias, based on who we are, where we were born, where we are on the socio-economic scale of whichever country we are in. There’s no use denying this (“I have no bias! I don’t see color! I see everyone as equal!) as it’s true for us all, though some more than others of course. It’s important to recognize that it exists and manage it – call ourselves out and ask others to call us out when we are unconsciously employing some ingrained bias.

I submit that travel makes a difference. I am under no illusion that it’s available to all. Travel costs money – especially international travel – and only a small % of people can or will take the opportunity to travel and see new people, places and things. However – I submit – it is only when you do so that you realize what you are missing!

I grew up – as previously stated – as reasonably privileged simply due to the accident of my birth to a middle-class white family. Travel for us, however, was largely limited to visiting relatives, who were within driving distance…though those driving distances always seemed interminable to my and my brother, who struggled to “stay on your own side” of the back seat. Travel memories for me as a child were about reading comic books, confessing “i’m bored, mom” and avoiding Dad’s backhander when I was bold enough to torture my little brother. Then we would arrive at the home of our grandparents and I would discover what being bored really meant….but I digress.

I didn’t even have a passport until after I graduated from college (what I fool I was to avoid going overseas for a semester). It was my professional life that finally opened my eyes, and led me to ensure that my children would not suffer from the same narrowness of vision that I enjoyed. You see – the old saying is true: “you don’t know what you don’t know.” If you grow up in one place, one town, and with your own kind of people around ou all the time, then it is extraordinarily difficult to broaden your thinking, and to combat the biases that are already baked in…whether you are wealthy or poor, black, brown or white. When you are forced to stretch beyond your comfort zone, you learn. It’s impossible to predict how much you will learn, and of course that is a function of how open-minded you are willing to be as you learn….but you will learn, nonetheless.

I was given the opportunity to travel for business. I worked for IBM and ended up in a role (roles, eventually) that afforded me the opportunity to travel the globe, build and run multinational teams, and work in many many different cultures. For a boy from the safe suburbs this was initially way beyond my comfort zone. It eventually became a professional differentiator – I began to teach many others how to do business globally – and I loved it.

When I was offered an international posting, I grabbed it. It didn’t hurt that it was in Sydney, Australia, about as cool a place to live as you can find, I figured. My wife was a little taken aback (“you want to go where? where the hell is that?”) but she was a hero, and we moved all the way around the world with four young children. Imagine if you will, being on a plane for 36 hours with kids aged 8, 6, 4 and 6months. Like I said – a hero.

It was the opportunity of a lifetime, because otherwise my kids would grow up in our very nice wealthy suburban community in Connecticut, and think that’s what the world was like. A bubble is what it was. Now, admittedly, living in a lovely suburb of Sydney was not like we were moving to Calcutta…but nontheless, the kids were exposed to people of different cultures, at school and whenever we would travel. My wife – yes, the hero of the story – would organize for us to travel whenever the kids were off school.

It’s worth a sidebar about my wife at this point. She’s an adorable girl who grew up in one house outside Baltimore and figured she would end up in one house, making a nest of it and have her chicks with her to grow up similarly. When I explained what a wonderful opportunity IBM was presenting with, to move overseas, let’s just say it took a little time for her to get used to the idea. #%$&! It then took about 6 months for her to get used to living in Sydney, making new friends and getting used to the new culture. Once she did, though, a new person was born – she started to live for travel, and trust me, that’s not something you can put back in the bottle. After 35 years of marriage, she still lives for the travel experience above all.

The stories of my kids learning how to adapt, how to make friends, how to count on each other for support, are the life lessons that we enjoyed. After living Sydney, we moved to London. My kids have enjoyed travel to probably 40 countries and they love it. They developed an appreciated for people in different cultures and sensitivities for how different we all are, yet can find commonalities that make life wonderful.

Next blog I will explain how our “16 trips” got much of this started. peace out.

This is a personal blog, so don’t look here for answers to solving problems like the pandemic, economic chaos, structural racism or preposterous leadership in the USA (and other nations). No matter who you are, 2020 is a….oh, well, choose your own descriptor, we all know what it is.

I am lucky, and wish to acknowledge that right up front. So many (so so many) people are suffering right now – some are sick with covid-19, some have lost their jobs, some are harmed in more ways than can be discussed. Yet – somehow – I won the lottery. It might be the genetic lottery, as I was born white, privileged and without worries about where my next meals would come from. I had two loving parents and went to college. I did make my own way and performed well during my career in the IT industry, but most people would perform adequately given the on-ramp I had. It’s important to acknowledge this. It’s white privilege and it’s a combination of luck, talent and hard work (i give myself a little bit of credit here). So after 38 years of reasonable achievement in the world of commercial business, I find myself out of a job – we sold our company and I needed to decide what to do next…or nothing. I decide to take my time, focusing on my non-profit activities (primarily Junior Achievement, a great org). Then along comes the pandemic.

It changed the world for sure and so many people are suffering. Yet, for me it has been a gift. There, I have admitted it. I am financially secure, have a home on an island in Maine and the most fantastic family I could hope for. We raised four kids – they are all out of college and on to their next chapters, so I didn’t have to worry about home schooling and other popular anxiety-inducing quests. We left our comfortable home in Ct and drove straight to Maine, where ‘social distancing’ is a way of life any way. “Hey Ron, how’s the social distancing going?” “Well….I thought I saw someone the other day, but it was off in the distance, so ayyuh, not sure, ayyuh.”

I had all four of my kids here with my wife and me for various extended periods during the spring and summer of 2020, and it was delightful. One was anxious over a wedding cancelled. Another anxious over having to quarantine when returning to London where she work. A third anxious about starting medical school in the fall. The fourth anxious about having to cut short his teaching assignment in South Korea when the schools closed, having to fly home to USA (is he really safer here??) and find a job up on the island. Yeah they all had worries – minor ones in the overall scheme of worries in today’s world, but worries. Not me. I got to just enjoy being with them, having dinner with them, working on the property, hiking with the dogs, going on kayaking trips. I am sooo selfish. This is the best pandemic ever.

Every blogger has a first blog. This is mine. There’s nothing special about it other than the fact that it’s mine. I am not a celebrity and don’t anticipate attracting much viewership. Who knows if my family will even find this (unless I send it to them and insist the offer supportive comments). Why blog at all? I guess I am a bit bored and searching for my next ‘thing’ to get excited about. After 38 years of work in the IT industry (IBM, Xerox, CSC, small companies, companies that got sold), I embarked on an ‘encore career’ (doesn’t that sound gentler than ‘retired’?). I spend most of my time on non-profit activities, which I can bore you with soon, and I also spend time with myself, and my family. Now I am trying to determine if that’s enough for me. Maybe it is – maybe I deserve this time and freedom. I read, I hike, I kayak up in Maine, I spend time with my wife and kids – more time than ever before. Maybe that’s enough. Yet there’s still a slight nag that it’s not. I rationalize a bit – this is 2020 where the world is all fucked up, so why create any ambition to do more until the smoke clears a bit? That has worked for me so far.