Surrey

We said goodby to Surrey on February 3, 2026. She had been with us – as my son Will’s dog – since 2/11/12. She was a little over 14 years old. It has taken me several weeks to get up the courage to write this post.

We have had many pets over the years. I have said goodbye to Malcolm and MacDuff, to Adelaide, Jasper, Court, Cinderella and a number of others. These last six months have seen the loss of Stevie the 10-year-old chicken, Rooney, my beloved and crazy/kooky yellow lab, and now Surrey.

Surrey merits a short essay. Dale found her on an online site called “adopt-a-lab” and we sent away for her to be delivered from somewhere down south where the litter had been rescued from. She was only about 2 months old – too young to be adopted to be honest

She was a birthday gift for Will and he met her at the beach where we brought her to meet him after “Freezin’ for a Reason” in Fairfield Ct. Will fell in love with Surrey of course – we named her after our home in England. Surrey was the sweetest little puppy I’ve ever met. She played with Sydney, our gray tabby cat. She learned to chase and then to catch tennis balls. As she grew, Surrey became the greatest tennis ball catching machine I’d seen since Vic (when I was in college). She could handle a fastball from many yards away. In the winter it was all about snowballs. Snowballs were her favorite thing in the world and she would sit trembling from the cold out in the snow waiting for you to throw “just one more” unless you forced her to come back in the house.

Surrey’s personality was unlike any dog we’d had prior or since. She was sweet and demure. She didn’t rough house or play with other dogs (other than those in our family, and even then it was rare). She loved people. She would go introduce herself to anyone, play with anyone and only raise her voice to command a tennis ball or a snowball. In short, she was adorable.

When in Maine we always had to bring a ball, a stick or a snowball with us on walks in the woods. Will could bring Surrey anywhere. She visited him at college in Gettysburg, Pa and was the most popular on campus. She would settle in the car anytime you asked her to and you could forget she was there she was so quiet. Will and I drove from Maine to Colorado one year with Surrey nestled in the back, on top of all the luggage. Never a peep of complaint. I am guilty of putting her in the back of the truck and forgetting she was there when I got out, only to remember an hour or so later! She would just get up and hop out like that hour was nothing more than a rest time for her. Surrey’s personality was so wonderful that we got her trained and certified as a service dog and she would go to old age homes to visit with the residents – all of whom fell in love with her at first sight.

When Will started his kayaking business in Maine (Osprey’s Echo Sea Kayaking), Surrey became the face of the company. She accompanied him on site and would trot up the hill to greet every customer upon arrival….every single one. It was her job – to greet customers, and they loved it. You only had to meet her to see how incredible she was – gentle, friendly, sweet. I don’t know how its going to feel this year when we start our kayaking season….without her for the first time.

Surrey was almost perfect. If pushed to come up with her areas for improvement I’d have to say she was quite a beggar, and she tended to poop wherever she felt like it. Our other dogs would take the time to walk into the woods to poop, but Surrey seemed to think it was sufficient simply FACE the woods when she pooped, and then carry on with her walk. She begged for food every chance she got. Curiously she loved vegetables and in fact broccoli was her favorite. whatever. Oh, and she was a terrible swimmer. Her sister Rooney was a tremendous swimmer, could go for miles. Surrey would swim a bit, get salt water in the mouth and then naturally produce diarrhea. We gave up on her swimming – people would find it curious that we had a lab who was a terrible swimmer. It’s just Surrey.

As Surrey got older, she still went to work every day at the kayaking company but chose to trot up the hill only periodically and wait at the bottom sometimes – always getting up to greet customers, though. In the fall, she would chase the apples that fell from the tree and rolled down the ramp to the water. She ate many of them.

During her last year – 2025 – I told everyone that she would live forever, because that’s what we needed from this most loving creature we ever had. I knew in my mind it had to end, but in my heart I couldn’t face it. She became slower, but she was still Surrey. In January she slowed considerably…until it snowed. Even after losing weight and facing her own mortality she chased and caught snowballs – right up to the week before she left us. I don’t know if I can throw a snowball again without thinking of Surrey.

The end was quiet – as everything about Surrey was. Surrey was with me and Dale but we had been planning to bring her to spend the weekend with Will up at Sugarloaf mountain where he worked on weekends in the winter. We knew the end was near but hoped she would get one last weekend in Maine. As she started to fail we called Will and told him he needed to get to our new home in Exeter NH to say goodbye as she wasn’t going to make it to Sugarloaf.

Will got excused from work, drove to Exeter and spent two last days with Surrey. Mostly he just lay on the floor with her, sleeping with her through the night. We made an appointment with a vet to come to our home on 2/3 at 5pm to put our dear girl to sleep. We wanted her to be at home, comfortable and surrounded by us. Will said “let’s take her to the beach.” It was a nice idea – during the afternoon we drove her to the beach so she could see the ocean and feel fresh air one last time. Will and Surrey sat in the sand together. Then we went home and waited for he vet.

All three of us cried our eyes out and we continue to cry (as I am now). Saying goodbye to Surrey was the hardest thing I can remember. I cried when we lost Rooney and all of our beloved pets, but there was something about Surrey that was special to our family. Will wrote a social media post the day after she died. He wrote:

“Don’t underestimate the impact a dog can have on a young man growing up. Surrey has been my best friend for over half my life now. For 14 years she has been with me though high school, college, living abroad, living in multiple states with me, starting a business, and so much more. Her love for people made her adored and admired by everyone. Whether it be friends, family, kayakers, kids, elderly homes, and many more. I knew this day would come but still can’t believe it. Rest in Peace Surrey (2012-2026)”

We will miss you and always love you, dear Surrey. Thank you for all the love you gave to us.

Are we a heartless nation?

I have never thought so. I was brought up to believe that we – the USA – are not only the most powerful nation on earth, but also the one that takes care of the world. We spent billions in Africa, we ran to the defense of a multitude of peoples who we thought were in need of help. We won World War II, you’re all very welcome.

Every once in a while, however, I lift up the covers on our history. We know how we treated the african slaves and how long it took for us to disband that part of our culture. We were the first nation to simply decide that white is best – it was the Americans that the German nazis copied- eugenics.

And then there is the Native Americans.

I just finished a book called An Indigenous People’s History of the United States (Revisioning American History), by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz. In it, the author gives us the history of the US through the eyes of the Native Americans. European settlers didn’t just move in, take over the land and establish primacy. They (we?) set out to completely eliminate the indigenous population. (“The only good indian is a dead indian – thank you General Sheridan”). The author does not shy away from calling it genocide. This treatise destroys a good deal of what we learned in school, and make all of those popular western movies kind of embarassing; you know, the ones where the cowboys and white soldiers are the good guys and the “injuns” are the bad guys?

And now – in this day and age – we think it’s our responsibility to depose other countries’ leaders (Venezuela being the latest). We think it’s within our rights to simply ‘take over’ another country – will we really take over Greenland?

I fear that the undercurrent of ‘might is right’ as espoused by our current leaders represents the thinking of far too many of our citizenry to simply be dismissed as the ravings of a complete asshole.

Maybe Trump and MAGA isn’t the cause of all this. Maybe he is the result of it

I’d like my parents back, please

Last year my kids gave me a couple of Christmas gifts that will last. My son gave me a book called Dad, I want to hear your story. It was filled with questions about my life and I spent months filling it in, as stories came to me. My daughter gave to my wife and I an email subscription called My Life in a Book. Every monday morning until December, we would get a question via email. The question would – via a link – take me to a page whereby I could write an essay about memories from various points in my life. This will result in an actual book, constructed from our weekly answers. I grew accustomed to waking up on Monday morning to a new question and spending some time writing an essay in answer. Christmas is this week – I look forward to seeing the book, but more importantly….

My kids will have some sort of story about our lives. It will give them insights and memories for themselves and hopefully for their kids some day.

I am also reading a memoir by an excellent author – Ordinary Light, by Tracy K Smith. It’s not a suspenseful read, but she relays all the stories from her time growing up.

So – now I am nostalgic and regretful. I did not spend enough time listening to my parents and asking about their lives. I have very few insights into their family life growing up in the 1930s, 40s, 50s and am reliant only on my own memories with them as (good) parents. I never got the opportunity to ask them the questions my children are asking me. I know even less about my grandparents. As a child, visiting them was more a burden than a treasure (as it was for my parents). They were dull, and the little interest they showed in our lives led to a tenuous relationship that depended on visits once or twice a year. Oh my, what an opportunity lost. They were around so much earlier and would have had memories worth hearing about. Maybe my parents heard some of those stories? I won’t even know that, as I didn’t exhibit the level of curiosity that my kids are showing with me.

I’d like another chance please. Can I have them back?

The World Cup!

I’m a big football (soccer) fan. I have been since I was a boy, playing for my schools in Pennsylvania. I played until i was about 50 and a couple of ACL injuries (and my wife) convinced me that I should retire. I coached my older son from the age of six, in Australia, England and the US. I got my class E coaching license in Connecticut. I coached my younger son in ‘travel soccer’ for years after the older one outgrew me.

I love to watch football and am a big fan of the Premier League. I have stayed in touch with my teammates from college and we talk (on WhatsApp) almost every day – mostly about football. We get together once a year to watch, talk football and go to a game somewhere. I even hosted them in London one year and tood them to a Fulham match and an Arsenal one. I took my younger son to the World Cup in Brazil and it was a once in a lifetime experience to go to games and mix with other football fans from around the world.

So – when it was clear that the World Cup in 2026 would be held in North America it was exciting! My old friends and I started brainstorming and plotting for the tournament. We were thinking of renting a Winnebago and touring from venue to venue to watch the games. We could imagine going to games in a wide variety of cities.

We always knew that FIFA was a pretty corrupt organization, but it never seemed close enough to impact our enjoyment of the game. Recently, however, our views have changed.

I plan to go to no World Cup games at all.

FIFA are pricing the tickets in the stratosphere. While I could probably afford to get a few tickets and it would be a very special event, I am resentful of what they are doing. Many many fans are serious followers of their teams, and they are completely priced out. Then there is the incredibly distasteful sucking up of FIFA President Infantino to US President Donald Trump. He has visited the White House a number of times, and made no secret of his agenda. Finally, when Trump failed to win the Nobel Peace Prize (seriously? he can’t even keep the peace at home), Infantino announed the FIFA Peace Prize. It was all so very nauseating.

I hereby boycott going to the World Cup.

Admittedly I can’t wait to watch the games on TV, and my mates and I are going to choose a non-venue city to gather and watch the games. We love this game and can’t wait to see England, Argentina, Brazil, USA, Netherlands….battle it out for places in the final.

In four years, the tournament will take place in Spain, Portugal and Morocco. I will reset my views and think very seriously about going there to the games! In the meantime, however, I spit on FIFA, Infantino and Trump (especially). They will have to carry on without my support 🙂

Elon Musk

I recently read Walter Isaacson’s biography of Elon Musk. I truly hesitated before buying this book. I think Elon Musk is deplorable – i dislike what he’s done in support of Donald Trump and I cannot even admire his business successes given what an asshole he seems to be. I found the idea of reading a biography about him so distasteful I would never consider it. Until I did.

I friend, whose opinion I trust, told me that the book was worth reading, to see what made him what he is. The deal was sealed when I realized the work was created by Walter Isaacson, who I think must be the best biographer there is.

To be clear – Musk earned not a penny from this book; it all went to the author. In addition, he had no editorial license (according to Isaacson) and didn’t get to read it before it was published. I went to Daunt Books and sheepishly asked where I could find the book. It’s silly, I know, but I was embarassed to buy it. I almost wanted to say “I really don’t like the guy, I just want to see what the book is like cuz a friend told me to.”

My friend was right. It’s an exceptional book. I found I couldn’t stop once I started reading – almost like watching a car crash (which I swear I don’t really do) whereby we read about the developmet of a complete asshole, and learn what made him what he is. A few interesting points from Isaacson’s book:

“I’ve come to put him in the same category as Steve Jobs, which is that some people are just assholes, but they accomplish so much that I just have to sit back and say, “that seems to be a package.””
“Asperger’s makes you a very difficult person. He’s not good at reading the room. His emotional comprehension is just very different from the average human….if someone has depression or anxiety we sympathize. But if they have Aspergers we say he’s an asshole.”

Does he have Aspergers? I have no idea and Isaacson does not pretend to know; he simply reports what people have said. The book does explore his awful childhood, his awful father and some of the influences that made Musk what he is. …an asshole.

Isaacson makes no excuses for him. Indeed near the end of the book he asks the key question – do his business successes mean he is excused from his behavior? The answer is no, and the author confirms that he agrees.

Musk is a risk junky. He drove people in many unreasonable ways. He created and became CEO of Paypal, Tesla, SpaceX, Twitter, Starlink, The Boring Company, x.AI and Neuralink…so far. You can (and should) argue about the successes of these endeavors…clearly he has ruined Twitter. Nonetheless, he has created.

It also seems clear that he believes he is contributing mightily to humanity and the future of our world(s). He thinks that SpaceX will help us get to Mars and create a new society there, given how we are ruining our planet. He believes he gave birth to the electronic vehicle market (he is probably right) and will also create self driving vehicle leadership (less clear).

I cannot fathom how he has migrated his political views, however. It is clear that he considered Trump a buffoon and a carnival barker at best, yet he contorted his opinions over time. Why? That does not come clear in the book, just that he did. It might have been his distaste for “woke” after his trans daughter left their relationship in the dust. He has made kids named X and Y. I shake my head at his judgment, his family life, and how he treats his employees.

Nonetheless, the story is remarkable, and worth studying. Thank you, Mr Isaacson.

The News

I have been a loyal subscriber to the NY Times for many years. When I lived in CT I got the NYTimes delivered to the house each morning. I would read it and the Wall St Journal every day on the way to work in NYC. The Times has always leaned left and the Journal leaned right, so it was a good combination as for many years I thought I was in the middle.

Since Trump came along and set new bars for being an asshole, the Times has leaned so far left it’s painful to read. I lean further left than ever before as well, certainly as compared to MAGA. Nonetheless, it has become difficult to read the NYTimes every day now.

We moved to New Hampshire so I canceled the physical paper delivery and just get the digital version each day. My morning routine is the make the coffee, feed the dogs and sit down to read the news. In recent months I have found reading the NYTimes more and more difficult. The first bunch of articles just get me pissed off about Trump and his stupid band of sycophants (see my earlier post). I can even get to the International section, much less Sports without getting mad at the news.

This week I have switched. I am now reading Reuters’ news. Reuters has always been unbiased and doesn’t even offer opinion pieces. I can get a complete look at the news, and then go back to the NYTimes if I want to read the oped pieces, or any other more local news. The Times don’t let me make my own opinions about what an asshole Trump is – the shove it into my face, article after article. I’ve gotten tired of it.

For better, unbiased news – go to Reuters, or the BBC.

Okay I’ve been trying my new plan – read Reuters first – for a week now, and frankly I miss sections of the NYTimes, so I’m going back to it. I will skim the first page (so infuriating) and use Reuters for that national/international news, but will continue to enjoy the NYT for the rest of it – local, books. oped, sports (the Athletic is good).

Reading

I read an article recently questioning whether audiobooks were in fact reading. I offer my views here.

Firstly I would like to point out that I read a lot of books. This year I am up to 60 books, according to goodreads, and most of them are in fact books – books in real paper, books on kindle, but mostly actual hardcopy books. However, I also like to listen to audiobooks, so some portion of my total are audibooks – via my subscription to Audible or the library. If I had to estimate, I’d say probably 20-25% are audio.

I count them as reading.

My rationale for this is that I pat attention, I concentrate, I follow the story or the content (i listen to both fiction and non-fiction), so it engages my brain. If I just had an audiobook on in the background while I was doing something else and only partially concentrating…well, then I’m not sure it would count as reading. I can’t sit with a physical book and multitask, so I don’t do so with an audiobook (other than driving).

The last excellent audiobook I listened to was in fact non-fiction, by Arundhati Roy. I learned a lot, about her, her family and about India. I am now listening to a 29-hour romance novel from the 1300s in England. It’s called Katherine and I read about it recently – published back in the 1950s. It’s different from anything I’ve listened to previously, but it’s engaging.

I don’t feel like audiobooks are cheating…though I might if i ONLY listened to audiobooks and never picked up a physical book. maybe.

Embarrassing

I’m reading a book called Quiet, by Susan Cain. It is a study of introverts and extroverts. Susan is an introvert. It’s a fascinating and thought-provoking book. In the current chapter she discusses how people react to being embarrassed. No surprise that introverts take it a lot harder than extroverts, who tend to shrug things off more easily. Introverts are apparently more ‘sensitive.’ She posed a question about the last time we were embarrassed. Okay, I’ll bite….

This wasn’t the last time or necessarily the worst time, but it is a time that has stuck with me for years. I am still embarrassed and cringe when I think about it – it comes back to me sometimes. This took place about 15 years ago.

I was working in a senior role for a US-based company. A friend and former colleague asked me to meet a friend of hers, a woman who was going through a tough time, having gotten divorced and was looking for career advice, i think. I don’t even remember all the circumstances, but I remember that I readily agreed to meet her and did so in the cafeteria of our company. We talked for a while and she was bright and articulate and also attractive, physically. At some point I mentioned this – that she was attractive. I have no idea why, and it was so inappropriate. To make matters worse, I distinctly remember saying it again…a SECOND TIME. I am cringing again now just remembering. I said something like “you are clearly bright and talented and also attractive..” as if that would important to point out as she sought career advice. I don’t think she reacted but I’m quite sure she recognized how inappropriate it was; she probably thought I was making a pass at her.

Needless to say I never heard from her again, nor did I hear from my colleague who asked me to meet her, in good faith. What a jerk I was; I don’t know what I was thinking, including her physical appearance in my assessment of her employment competitiveness.

I’ve never spoken aloud about it, ever, to anyone. I’ve never written about it anywhere…till now. And no, it doesn’t make me feel better to do so, but I do think I learned from the experience, as I’ve never made that stupid mistake again since.

China is way ahead

This is not a topic that I usually spend a lot of time thinking about – which country is ahead or behind USA on a certain topic (unless it’s the World Cup, ugh).

However, reading about China’s work on alternative energy is eye-opening. They have apparently built 162 sq miles of solar panels, wind turbines all around and hydropower dams. China is building an enormous network of clean energy on the Tibetan plateau.

China is still the largest polluter in the world, burning as much coal as the rest of the world combined (according to NYTimes article). However, President Xi for the first time spoke at the United Nations about reducing greenhouse gas emissions and expanding renewable energy six fold. This was a moment of significance.

This is particularly interesting when contrasted with the Trump administrations efforts to double down on gas, oil and coal, even trying to force other countries to buy those elements from USA.

China is dominating clean energy, powering high-speed trains and electric vehicles. They’ve even built a 2,000 mile power line across the country, transmitting electricity generated by those enormous solar farms. This line will be followed by many more.

At a recent meeting I attended here in Maine I listened to a discussion about efforts to bring EV technology to the commercial fishing industry. This is a laudable goal, but some experts suggested that powering the large lobster boats would require way more electricity than would make it viable with current battery technology. I asked what alternatives there were, and one answer was hydrogen. Apparently an effort to extract hydrogen from sea water is in early stages of development. My colleagues in the meeting suggested that this solution is ‘decades away’ here in the USA. They might be right…but some quick googling suggests that China are already solving it.

We are not the leaders in clean energy. We have spent our money and political capital fighting climate change and ignoring the need for clean energy. China remains the largest polluter in the world, but it looks to me like they ‘get it’ a lot more than we do.

All Solutions Are Local

I’ve never been more frustrated, reading the national news each morning. I think Trump and his sycophantic group of unqualified losers are causing so much damage to our country – and it’s reputation worldwide – that it will be irrecoverable. The question I wrestle with is what to do about it.

I’m not going to do something rash on a national level. Every once in a while I lash out on social media but that’s useless and helps in no way – people who agree with me like it and those who don’t, don’t.

I am convinced that the answer to “what can I do” lies in local solutions. I have tried hard to ‘reinvent myself’ after 40 years of corporate life. I spend time helping my son with his sea kayaking business (having declared myself Chairman of his company) and am also doing volunteer and board work for 3 non-profits.

The one I joined 3 years ago is the Island Institute. They help waterfront communities across Maine. Their programs help support climate change solutions and working waterfront economic diversity issues. I also do volunteer work for them, providing tech support at weekly meetings for the elderly on Deer Isle. They love it and it’s fun.

Last year I joined an even more local non-profit, called Project Launch. This is led by a wonderful lady who provides coaching, support and programs for local teenagers, opening their eyes to possibilities in addition to commercial fishing.

And most recently, I joined the board of Junior Achievement (JA) of Maine (logo at the top). I have been involved with JA for 20 years, starting in New York City when I did volunteer teaching at a middle school in Harlem – so rewarding. Then I taught for a while in Norwalk CT. I also joined the Boards of those chapters, and chaired the board in CT for a number of years, until 6/30/25. At that point I contact the head of JA in Maine and she offered me a seat on her board.

These are my current involvements – I enjoy them and enjoy how they make me feel about helping at a local level. At least I’m contributing in small ways at local levels. It’s the best I can do for now.

Trump can’t see me, so I’m pretty sure I can continue to get away with this. :-).