I’d like my parents back, please

Last year my kids gave me a couple of Christmas gifts that will last. My son gave me a book called Dad, I want to hear your story. It was filled with questions about my life and I spent months filling it in, as stories came to me. My daughter gave to my wife and I an email subscription called My Life in a Book. Every monday morning until December, we would get a question via email. The question would – via a link – take me to a page whereby I could write an essay about memories from various points in my life. This will result in an actual book, constructed from our weekly answers. I grew accustomed to waking up on Monday morning to a new question and spending some time writing an essay in answer. Christmas is this week – I look forward to seeing the book, but more importantly….

My kids will have some sort of story about our lives. It will give them insights and memories for themselves and hopefully for their kids some day.

I am also reading a memoir by an excellent author – Ordinary Light, by Tracy K Smith. It’s not a suspenseful read, but she relays all the stories from her time growing up.

So – now I am nostalgic and regretful. I did not spend enough time listening to my parents and asking about their lives. I have very few insights into their family life growing up in the 1930s, 40s, 50s and am reliant only on my own memories with them as (good) parents. I never got the opportunity to ask them the questions my children are asking me. I know even less about my grandparents. As a child, visiting them was more a burden than a treasure (as it was for my parents). They were dull, and the little interest they showed in our lives led to a tenuous relationship that depended on visits once or twice a year. Oh my, what an opportunity lost. They were around so much earlier and would have had memories worth hearing about. Maybe my parents heard some of those stories? I won’t even know that, as I didn’t exhibit the level of curiosity that my kids are showing with me.

I’d like another chance please. Can I have them back?

The World Cup!

I’m a big football (soccer) fan. I have been since I was a boy, playing for my schools in Pennsylvania. I played until i was about 50 and a couple of ACL injuries (and my wife) convinced me that I should retire. I coached my older son from the age of six, in Australia, England and the US. I got my class E coaching license in Connecticut. I coached my younger son in ‘travel soccer’ for years after the older one outgrew me.

I love to watch football and am a big fan of the Premier League. I have stayed in touch with my teammates from college and we talk (on WhatsApp) almost every day – mostly about football. We get together once a year to watch, talk football and go to a game somewhere. I even hosted them in London one year and tood them to a Fulham match and an Arsenal one. I took my younger son to the World Cup in Brazil and it was a once in a lifetime experience to go to games and mix with other football fans from around the world.

So – when it was clear that the World Cup in 2026 would be held in North America it was exciting! My old friends and I started brainstorming and plotting for the tournament. We were thinking of renting a Winnebago and touring from venue to venue to watch the games. We could imagine going to games in a wide variety of cities.

We always knew that FIFA was a pretty corrupt organization, but it never seemed close enough to impact our enjoyment of the game. Recently, however, our views have changed.

I plan to go to no World Cup games at all.

FIFA are pricing the tickets in the stratosphere. While I could probably afford to get a few tickets and it would be a very special event, I am resentful of what they are doing. Many many fans are serious followers of their teams, and they are completely priced out. Then there is the incredibly distasteful sucking up of FIFA President Infantino to US President Donald Trump. He has visited the White House a number of times, and made no secret of his agenda. Finally, when Trump failed to win the Nobel Peace Prize (seriously? he can’t even keep the peace at home), Infantino announed the FIFA Peace Prize. It was all so very nauseating.

I hereby boycott going to the World Cup.

Admittedly I can’t wait to watch the games on TV, and my mates and I are going to choose a non-venue city to gather and watch the games. We love this game and can’t wait to see England, Argentina, Brazil, USA, Netherlands….battle it out for places in the final.

In four years, the tournament will take place in Spain, Portugal and Morocco. I will reset my views and think very seriously about going there to the games! In the meantime, however, I spit on FIFA, Infantino and Trump (especially). They will have to carry on without my support 🙂

Elon Musk

I recently read Walter Isaacson’s biography of Elon Musk. I truly hesitated before buying this book. I think Elon Musk is deplorable – i dislike what he’s done in support of Donald Trump and I cannot even admire his business successes given what an asshole he seems to be. I found the idea of reading a biography about him so distasteful I would never consider it. Until I did.

I friend, whose opinion I trust, told me that the book was worth reading, to see what made him what he is. The deal was sealed when I realized the work was created by Walter Isaacson, who I think must be the best biographer there is.

To be clear – Musk earned not a penny from this book; it all went to the author. In addition, he had no editorial license (according to Isaacson) and didn’t get to read it before it was published. I went to Daunt Books and sheepishly asked where I could find the book. It’s silly, I know, but I was embarassed to buy it. I almost wanted to say “I really don’t like the guy, I just want to see what the book is like cuz a friend told me to.”

My friend was right. It’s an exceptional book. I found I couldn’t stop once I started reading – almost like watching a car crash (which I swear I don’t really do) whereby we read about the developmet of a complete asshole, and learn what made him what he is. A few interesting points from Isaacson’s book:

“I’ve come to put him in the same category as Steve Jobs, which is that some people are just assholes, but they accomplish so much that I just have to sit back and say, “that seems to be a package.””
“Asperger’s makes you a very difficult person. He’s not good at reading the room. His emotional comprehension is just very different from the average human….if someone has depression or anxiety we sympathize. But if they have Aspergers we say he’s an asshole.”

Does he have Aspergers? I have no idea and Isaacson does not pretend to know; he simply reports what people have said. The book does explore his awful childhood, his awful father and some of the influences that made Musk what he is. …an asshole.

Isaacson makes no excuses for him. Indeed near the end of the book he asks the key question – do his business successes mean he is excused from his behavior? The answer is no, and the author confirms that he agrees.

Musk is a risk junky. He drove people in many unreasonable ways. He created and became CEO of Paypal, Tesla, SpaceX, Twitter, Starlink, The Boring Company, x.AI and Neuralink…so far. You can (and should) argue about the successes of these endeavors…clearly he has ruined Twitter. Nonetheless, he has created.

It also seems clear that he believes he is contributing mightily to humanity and the future of our world(s). He thinks that SpaceX will help us get to Mars and create a new society there, given how we are ruining our planet. He believes he gave birth to the electronic vehicle market (he is probably right) and will also create self driving vehicle leadership (less clear).

I cannot fathom how he has migrated his political views, however. It is clear that he considered Trump a buffoon and a carnival barker at best, yet he contorted his opinions over time. Why? That does not come clear in the book, just that he did. It might have been his distaste for “woke” after his trans daughter left their relationship in the dust. He has made kids named X and Y. I shake my head at his judgment, his family life, and how he treats his employees.

Nonetheless, the story is remarkable, and worth studying. Thank you, Mr Isaacson.

The News

I have been a loyal subscriber to the NY Times for many years. When I lived in CT I got the NYTimes delivered to the house each morning. I would read it and the Wall St Journal every day on the way to work in NYC. The Times has always leaned left and the Journal leaned right, so it was a good combination as for many years I thought I was in the middle.

Since Trump came along and set new bars for being an asshole, the Times has leaned so far left it’s painful to read. I lean further left than ever before as well, certainly as compared to MAGA. Nonetheless, it has become difficult to read the NYTimes every day now.

We moved to New Hampshire so I canceled the physical paper delivery and just get the digital version each day. My morning routine is the make the coffee, feed the dogs and sit down to read the news. In recent months I have found reading the NYTimes more and more difficult. The first bunch of articles just get me pissed off about Trump and his stupid band of sycophants (see my earlier post). I can even get to the International section, much less Sports without getting mad at the news.

This week I have switched. I am now reading Reuters’ news. Reuters has always been unbiased and doesn’t even offer opinion pieces. I can get a complete look at the news, and then go back to the NYTimes if I want to read the oped pieces, or any other more local news. The Times don’t let me make my own opinions about what an asshole Trump is – the shove it into my face, article after article. I’ve gotten tired of it.

For better, unbiased news – go to Reuters, or the BBC.

Okay I’ve been trying my new plan – read Reuters first – for a week now, and frankly I miss sections of the NYTimes, so I’m going back to it. I will skim the first page (so infuriating) and use Reuters for that national/international news, but will continue to enjoy the NYT for the rest of it – local, books. oped, sports (the Athletic is good).

Reading

I read an article recently questioning whether audiobooks were in fact reading. I offer my views here.

Firstly I would like to point out that I read a lot of books. This year I am up to 60 books, according to goodreads, and most of them are in fact books – books in real paper, books on kindle, but mostly actual hardcopy books. However, I also like to listen to audiobooks, so some portion of my total are audibooks – via my subscription to Audible or the library. If I had to estimate, I’d say probably 20-25% are audio.

I count them as reading.

My rationale for this is that I pat attention, I concentrate, I follow the story or the content (i listen to both fiction and non-fiction), so it engages my brain. If I just had an audiobook on in the background while I was doing something else and only partially concentrating…well, then I’m not sure it would count as reading. I can’t sit with a physical book and multitask, so I don’t do so with an audiobook (other than driving).

The last excellent audiobook I listened to was in fact non-fiction, by Arundhati Roy. I learned a lot, about her, her family and about India. I am now listening to a 29-hour romance novel from the 1300s in England. It’s called Katherine and I read about it recently – published back in the 1950s. It’s different from anything I’ve listened to previously, but it’s engaging.

I don’t feel like audiobooks are cheating…though I might if i ONLY listened to audiobooks and never picked up a physical book. maybe.

Embarrassing

I’m reading a book called Quiet, by Susan Cain. It is a study of introverts and extroverts. Susan is an introvert. It’s a fascinating and thought-provoking book. In the current chapter she discusses how people react to being embarrassed. No surprise that introverts take it a lot harder than extroverts, who tend to shrug things off more easily. Introverts are apparently more ‘sensitive.’ She posed a question about the last time we were embarrassed. Okay, I’ll bite….

This wasn’t the last time or necessarily the worst time, but it is a time that has stuck with me for years. I am still embarrassed and cringe when I think about it – it comes back to me sometimes. This took place about 15 years ago.

I was working in a senior role for a US-based company. A friend and former colleague asked me to meet a friend of hers, a woman who was going through a tough time, having gotten divorced and was looking for career advice, i think. I don’t even remember all the circumstances, but I remember that I readily agreed to meet her and did so in the cafeteria of our company. We talked for a while and she was bright and articulate and also attractive, physically. At some point I mentioned this – that she was attractive. I have no idea why, and it was so inappropriate. To make matters worse, I distinctly remember saying it again…a SECOND TIME. I am cringing again now just remembering. I said something like “you are clearly bright and talented and also attractive..” as if that would important to point out as she sought career advice. I don’t think she reacted but I’m quite sure she recognized how inappropriate it was; she probably thought I was making a pass at her.

Needless to say I never heard from her again, nor did I hear from my colleague who asked me to meet her, in good faith. What a jerk I was; I don’t know what I was thinking, including her physical appearance in my assessment of her employment competitiveness.

I’ve never spoken aloud about it, ever, to anyone. I’ve never written about it anywhere…till now. And no, it doesn’t make me feel better to do so, but I do think I learned from the experience, as I’ve never made that stupid mistake again since.

China is way ahead

This is not a topic that I usually spend a lot of time thinking about – which country is ahead or behind USA on a certain topic (unless it’s the World Cup, ugh).

However, reading about China’s work on alternative energy is eye-opening. They have apparently built 162 sq miles of solar panels, wind turbines all around and hydropower dams. China is building an enormous network of clean energy on the Tibetan plateau.

China is still the largest polluter in the world, burning as much coal as the rest of the world combined (according to NYTimes article). However, President Xi for the first time spoke at the United Nations about reducing greenhouse gas emissions and expanding renewable energy six fold. This was a moment of significance.

This is particularly interesting when contrasted with the Trump administrations efforts to double down on gas, oil and coal, even trying to force other countries to buy those elements from USA.

China is dominating clean energy, powering high-speed trains and electric vehicles. They’ve even built a 2,000 mile power line across the country, transmitting electricity generated by those enormous solar farms. This line will be followed by many more.

At a recent meeting I attended here in Maine I listened to a discussion about efforts to bring EV technology to the commercial fishing industry. This is a laudable goal, but some experts suggested that powering the large lobster boats would require way more electricity than would make it viable with current battery technology. I asked what alternatives there were, and one answer was hydrogen. Apparently an effort to extract hydrogen from sea water is in early stages of development. My colleagues in the meeting suggested that this solution is ‘decades away’ here in the USA. They might be right…but some quick googling suggests that China are already solving it.

We are not the leaders in clean energy. We have spent our money and political capital fighting climate change and ignoring the need for clean energy. China remains the largest polluter in the world, but it looks to me like they ‘get it’ a lot more than we do.

All Solutions Are Local

I’ve never been more frustrated, reading the national news each morning. I think Trump and his sycophantic group of unqualified losers are causing so much damage to our country – and it’s reputation worldwide – that it will be irrecoverable. The question I wrestle with is what to do about it.

I’m not going to do something rash on a national level. Every once in a while I lash out on social media but that’s useless and helps in no way – people who agree with me like it and those who don’t, don’t.

I am convinced that the answer to “what can I do” lies in local solutions. I have tried hard to ‘reinvent myself’ after 40 years of corporate life. I spend time helping my son with his sea kayaking business (having declared myself Chairman of his company) and am also doing volunteer and board work for 3 non-profits.

The one I joined 3 years ago is the Island Institute. They help waterfront communities across Maine. Their programs help support climate change solutions and working waterfront economic diversity issues. I also do volunteer work for them, providing tech support at weekly meetings for the elderly on Deer Isle. They love it and it’s fun.

Last year I joined an even more local non-profit, called Project Launch. This is led by a wonderful lady who provides coaching, support and programs for local teenagers, opening their eyes to possibilities in addition to commercial fishing.

And most recently, I joined the board of Junior Achievement (JA) of Maine (logo at the top). I have been involved with JA for 20 years, starting in New York City when I did volunteer teaching at a middle school in Harlem – so rewarding. Then I taught for a while in Norwalk CT. I also joined the Boards of those chapters, and chaired the board in CT for a number of years, until 6/30/25. At that point I contact the head of JA in Maine and she offered me a seat on her board.

These are my current involvements – I enjoy them and enjoy how they make me feel about helping at a local level. At least I’m contributing in small ways at local levels. It’s the best I can do for now.

Trump can’t see me, so I’m pretty sure I can continue to get away with this. :-).

Getting attached to a pet

This photo was taken the morning we had to take our yellow lab to the vet to have her put to sleep. My wife brought her over to where a few of us were, on the ocean, and let her sit in the back of the car with her ‘sister’ the black lab next to her. After everyone got to say good bye we drove her away from the place she loved, for the last time.

I cried like a baby. I still do, two days later, when I wake up and she’s not in the house, ready for a walk or a swim. We adopted her 13 years ago and she almost made it to 14 years old. She had been horribly treated before we got her and it took quite some time before she became a lovable kook. None of that is the purpose of this post, though.

How do I get so attached to an animal, a pet, a creature that doesn’t speak, at least not in a voice like mine.

I have always loved animals. Perhaps it’s because they seem to need me. Perhaps it’s because I need them. Ever since I was a little boy I have had a pretty good way about making friends with animals – it could be dogs, cats, horses, sheep, i don’t know what else…but mostly dogs and cats. It is rare that I can’t make friends with a dog. I can also tell from their eyes whether they are friendly and loving.

Once a dog comes to live with me, he/she is part of the family. My dog doesn’t go to work with me (well they do now, that I’m working at my son’s kayaking business, but not when I was in the corporate world). My dog is sad to see me go anywhere, asking if he can come with me. My dog loves to ride in the car. My dog is thrilled to see me when I get home. My wife used to be like that, and my kids used to be like that. My dog is ALWAYS like that…wiggling and wagging and ready for a hug. My dog just wants to be with me. I love that.

My dog does communicate. He senses sadness, and happiness. Yes she expected to get fed regularly, but the most important thing to my pups was the chance to be close to me. They sleep in my room, sometimes in my bed (depending on the size of the dog).

Rooney was the yellow lab we said good bye to this week. When she was young she was athletic and energetic and hilariously kooky and endlessly entertaining. As she got older, she got slower. She required more care, special foods, but still went on walks every day and expected it. She had been there for me for 13 years and she deserved the extra attention and care that she got right up to the end. She brought us joy and she deserved extra care at the end.

I was with her, touching her and telling her I loved her, until her heart stopped, on the floor of the vet’s office. I once made the mistake years ago of not being there at the very end, thinking I couldn’t bear it….and now that I look back on it, I think I was selfish. My dog deserves to see me as the last thing she sees, and know that I loved her, always will, and miss her now.

I went on the walk yesterday without her for the first time. I came across the section of mud that she insisted on padding through instead of the path…and saw her paw print. I think she left it for me.

I will get over this, and our other dogs still bring me joy and companionship, but I am sad right now. Good bye, Rooney. I love you.

Have I reinvented myself?

Someone said recently that I have reinvented myself. It was a comment based on a posting I made recently on LinkedIn that I have just joined the Board of Directors of Junior Achievement of Maine. I thought about it, and think he may actually be right.

I spent 40 years in the corporate world, leading teams, selling and a variety of other important (?) things. I enjoyed it, lived and worked in many countries, achieved a few things that mean little at this point, and finished up a couple of years ago. I always thought I’d like to get involved in the non-profit world when I retired, and a good friend said that the best way to get ready was to get involved in the non-profit world BEFORE I retire. That made good sense to me, so I volunteered at Junior Achievement (JA) in Ct and for A Better Chance (ABC) and did volunteer soccer coaching and probably a few other minor things, in between the usual corporate stuff.

Now here I am at age 65 (almost 66), probably two years out from my corporate life. I spend time working with my kid and his kayaking business (technically not a non-profit, but close…) and I am on the Boards of JA, the Island Institute in Maine and a local group called Project Launch. These are all causes that I believe in – helping kids, the environment and my community. Even my son’s business – Osprey’s Echo Sea Kayaking – does a good bit to help out in the community, from serving local school children, to hosting adaptive paddling for people who are wheelchair bound.

I am keeping busy, but still find time to walk the dogs every day and read over 50 books a year; books that don’t just entertain, but also educate.

Golly I think i have reinvented myself! (did I just say ‘golly?’)