Your resume or your eulogy?

I read something recently that called for people to think hard about whether they want to gather accomplishments for their resume or reasons to be remembered, in a eulogy.

While it’s not an uplifting thought, it made me think. I worked in the corporate world for 40 years, in the IT and finance industries. I became pretty good at what I did, leading teams, selling, taking care of customers, and developed a variety of skills and accomplishments. They probably made their way on to my resume over time. I did some business turnarounds. I managed significant teams of people. I grew businesses.

Then I retired. And a funny thing happened. Nobody cared.

It didn’t matter to any of the companies I worked so hard for that I was gone. They just got on with things. I’m sure that some people said they’d miss me and they may even have meant it at the time….but I am also sure that it wore off very quickly. The mark I made on the industries I participated in seemed important to me at the time. However, I was no Bill Gates, no Steve Jobs, or any other figure that we might think of as having a lasting impact.

So…how do I want to be remembered? I don’t want to get morbid, but I’d like to be thought of. I’d like to be thought of well – now, and in the future, even when I’m gone. How do I do that?

I made time when I was still working to ‘give back’ as they say. I did volunteer work and I played some parts in topics that I felt strongly about – education, children, the underserved, racism. When I retired I have tried to double down and spend the majority of my time on such issues. I can use my corporate experience and acquired skills to help some of these charitable ventures that are working so hard to make others’ lives better.

I’d like to be remembered for that work.

I’d also like to be remembered as kind and helpful. I’d like to be remembered as a good dad and husband. I’d like to think i get some credit for how wonderful my four kids have turned out. They are all different and have chosen their own paths…and I helped support those decisions.

I was thinking about my dad today, I was working in the garden and put on some music from Spotify. I don’t know why but I chose Will the Circle Be Unbroken. Dad loved loved loved that music. I listened to it and could hear him hooting and hollering and encouraging me to enjoy it too. When The Tennessee Stud came on – by Doc Watson – I turned it way up and sang along with it like Dad did. I felt him. I missed him and the music brought him back. I remember my Dad as a great dad. Not perfect, but flawed like we all are…but he always worked hard to do the right things – for others, and for us. I miss him.

I hope my friends and my family will remember me. I have some music they can remember me with, our pets, some books that I loved or just how I loved to be with them all.

I think introspection is good for the soul.