It amazes me how difficult this. Let’s think about what ‘straight talk’ is and is not.
Straight talk is when someone offers honest and direct, but polite and respectful insight and feedback. It can be offered by a boss, an employee, a colleague, a partner, a parent, a coach, anyone really… It is not just critical feedback and it is not just ‘happy talk’ though straight talk can be both critical and positive. Let’s consider some examples from the working world.
A manager has a responsibility to provide feedback to employees, and to do it on a regular basis – not just during annual appraisal time. Critical feedback is best offered privately, not during a meeting with other colleagues present. Positive feedback should also be carefully considered before providing in a meeting format as it can inspire comparisons and jealousy unless it is part of planned public recognition. If your employee inspires the need for critical feedback, try to provide it swiftly after the meeting. “Lee, I’d like to suggest you are talking too much during the meeting. It dampens the spirits of others and discourages them from participating. Look for hints from me in the future when I see it.”
This is simple and direct. More complex and difficult is when a manager needs to tell an employee that he/she is simply not up for the role he’s in. This is no fun, and even more difficult if it’s not the employee’s fault. Perhaps a previous manager made the wrong decision or perhaps the employee isn’t sufficiently self-aware to recognize that she is not well suited for this particular role. The manager does no one any favors by avoiding this discussion. The employee will continue to struggle in the ‘wrong’ role, the manager will bear the blame for this as it carries on, and other employees will resent both the underperforming employee and the manager who is reluctant to solve the problem. The employee may or may not take the feedback easily but it doesn’t make it less appropriate to take action and most employees will look back on the situation with the perspective of time and distance and realize that the manager did him a favor.
Employees also need to consider how to provide straight talk, to each other and to bosses. I recently took a valued colleague aside after he made a presentation to a large group. This colleague is excellent in so many ways, and he is a peer of mine. Nonetheless his presentation was not good. He spoke way to fast and with his european accent it was difficult for people to follow him. His knowledge and expertise was lost on the group as he spoke faster and faster and was clearly uncomfortable in front of the room. I took him aside after and said that as we are friends now I hope he didn’t mind if I offered him some feedback. I told him he needs to slow down, take a breath and we discussed it for a few minutes. As a mature colleague he expressed appreciation for the feedback and recognized it as accurate. I hope I did him a favor by calling it to his attention so he can practice his public speaking in the future.
It’s important when assessing whether you can provide such feedback to a boss to assess whether he/she takes feedback. If your boss isn’t a good listener or doesn’t like feedback then this can be dangerous. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it, but you may need to recognize the inherent risks. For me, if I have a boss who doesn’t like feedback (I call those bosses “smartest guy in the room” types) then I’d rather know that, as I won’t enjoy being part of that team. If you assess that the boss trusts his team well enough to accept feedback then you owe it to him/her to offer it. You might couch it as an offer to help (“perhaps I can help you with your communications in the future, if you’d like”). No boss (or employee, or colleague) commands every skill with equal levels of accomplishment. I have had a boss who is very smart, strategic and a good listener, but he’s not the best speaker or writer. We can help him, as these skills are important….if he accepts the help.
Oh yeah, and I need to remind myself regularly to seek feedback and let me people (colleagues, employees, bosses) know that I welcome it. It makes me a better executive.
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