How Important is Telling the Truth?

Seems like a really dumb question, ya?

We watch our current buffoon of a president lie all the time and I assume that most of us think it’s a shame. Yet many people – millions of them, if the news is to believed – really don’t care if he tells the truth or not. Some probably believe that he is in fact telling the truth, even when it seems clear that he is not.

Qanon is professed to be a group of people who tell the truth – their own version of the truth – by espousing conspiracy theories. I expect many of them believe they are telling the truth.

Sometimes I or a family member say exactly what we think to another of us, and it feels like telling the truth. We rationalize that even if it is something hurtful we said, it is okay because it is what we think at the time and it is supposed to be good to get our emotions out…? Of course sometime later – the next day or week – we feel kinda bad about cursing out a loved family member, and then there is the matter of the awkward apology.

How much truth is good? How much is enough? How much is too much?

What are the rules?

There are no rules. The key word here is judgment.

There is no substitute for good judgment. It comes from experience. When we are young we are told to always tell the truth, and we end up trying to do so. As we grow older, we start to use our judgment about what truths to tell, and which ones to keep to ourselves. Saying “that lady is really fat” when spotting someone across the street is an obvious example. We use our judgment to keep our thoughts to ourselves.

Now we are adults, or at least pretend to be. Is it okay to call your spouse an asshole, or your bother a cheater? Is it okay to tell stories like conspiracy theories out loud before we know if they are true, or will hurt someone? As a professional, I managed people over many years in the IT industry. Good judgment in an employee became the most important characteristic i would try to recognize in someone. If an employee knew how to handle a customer, knew when to ask for help, knew when to complain and knew when to just get on with her job, this was notable and admirable. It built trust. I could trust in her judgment and not have to worry about checking it.

We can think about our friends, our family members and our leaders in terms of how good their judgment seems to be. There are some laws that prevent President Trump from certain activities. But there are not rules for everything. Sometimes it is about judgment. Are you okay with his judgment on how he treats people? If not, that is important. You may feel you cannot trust him. If you are okay with his judgment and you trust him, well, frankly it says something about your judgment too.

I judge this essay to be long enough for now. Happy Labor Day, for those who care.